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Benedict Cumberbatch Is Engaged, So Why Is The Internet Still Working?

This is really happening, happening.

Internet, are you sitting down? I hope you're sitting down.

Take a breath. Count to three. Come with me… and you'll be… in a world where Benedict Cumberbatch is engaged.

Yes. You heard that right. Benedict Cumberbatch. Is. Engaged!

The news broke as nonchalantly as possible — as in, not on the Internet, but via an engagement announcement in newspaper The Times:

Here's what we know: Cumberbatch's bride-to-be is British theater director and actress Sophie Hunter.

She is not, unfortunately, you. Or you. Or you. Or me.

She is not any of us. But if she makes Mr. Cumberbatch happy, then she we're all happy. Right? Right! Besides, there's always the off-chance that this news isn't even real:

And even if it is, there's always an alternative: