I don't often feel dirty about writing the celebrity gossip pieces I write. If Britney Spears wants to get trashed out of her double-chinned little head and go out for the night in a short skirt and no underwear, I'll run the pictures and I'll write about it and I'll laugh. When Paris Hilton wants to drive on a suspended license, or Richie Sambora wants to leave his wife for her best friend or Cameron Diaz smokes a joint, I look for the funniest angle and I write about it and I move on with the rest of my day, preoccupied predominately by how I might best acquire pizza and/or a cupcake. So it's weird that I feel dirty running this story. But it's quite a story.
TMZ -- God bless them -- tracked down an audio file of a message Alec Baldwin left on his 11-year-old daughter's voicemail. You can listen to it here, but be prepared to cringe. Alec has some pretty harsh words for his pre-pubescent daughter, whose worst crime appears to be not answering her phone. And it's not a quick reprimand; it's a two-minute, profanity-laced diatribe. "You have insulted me for the last time," he says. "You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being -- I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old or that you're a child or that your mother [Kim Basinger] is a thoughtless pain in the ass ... You have humiliated me for the last time ... You've made me feel like shit, and you've made me feel like a fool ... and this crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation ... I'm gonna straighten your ass out. I'm gonna really make sure you get it. So you better be ready to meet with me ... I'm gonna let you know just how I feel about what a rude little pig you are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig."
Ugh. I get shivers when I hear this. I can only imagine how scarring it would be to find this message on my voicemail when I was a girl her age. No wonder she never picks up.
Celebrity gossip with an evil twist.