Alternate Programming for the NCAA-Impaired

Across the nation tonight, millions of basketball fans will be tuning in to the NCAA championship game to see if Kansas or Memphis will prevail. Others of us could care less. March Madness is a big deal in my office, and I started to fill out a bracket this year in the spirit of participation. Since I know even less about basketball than I know about football, I started picking teams based on which had the cuter mascot -- but that proved to be too much work after one division, and I gave up. I've trolled tonight's prime time listings for basketball-free programming. If you used a similar bracket strategy to mine this year, or if you didn't participate at all, here's what you can watch tonight.

Dancing with the Stars & Samantha Who: ABC's got the girliest night of the week. Tune in to see whether Adam Carolla can hang on another week; stay to see the post-strike return of the best new sitcom of the year.

New Amsterdam & Medium: Create your own supernatural crime-fighting block.

Greek, America's Prom Queen, & Cheerleader U: Relive your school days by tuning in to see what the Zeta Beta Zetas are up to, watch the prom queen contenders plan a senior prom, and then follow the University of Kentucky cheerleaders to the national championship.

None of these look appealing? Well, when all else fails, you can always count on the so-called "women's networks" to provide the perfect sports antidote. Oxygen will be showing the Goldie Hawn classic, Overboard. If you don't feel like going back to the '80s, tune into Lifetime for Straight from the Heart to see newly widowed Andrew McCarthy try to get back on the old dating horse.

The good news for all of us non-basketball watchers is that after tonight, March Madness is over for another year. Don't get too comfortable, though, baseball season has already started ...

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Amy Kane spends as much quality time with her television as possible, when she's not busy at her day job as a cube dweller.

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