Drunk Bicyclist Poses For Priceless Mugshot After His Taco Bell Drive-Thru Fail

Fourth meal in jail wouldn't make anyone happy.

17 Ways New York City Makes You Want To Be Basic As Hell

It's the greatest city in the world, but there's a reason why normcore is trending.

It's 'Singles' Day' In China, A Shopping Extravaganza With Occasional Nudity

The holiday started as a joke for college-aged bachelors to celebrate themselves. Now it generates billions of dollars.

'South Park' Has A Legit Point With Their 'Drink Responsibly' Parody Ad

The parody was ridiculous, but on point: Nobody pays attention to PSAs filled with T&A.

Scientists Prove The Flash Would Actually Be A Killer Supervillain

...or just an incompetent superhero, because he'd commit manslaughter whenever he tried to save anybody.

Meet The Guys Behind Mitch McConnell's 'Come At Me, Bro' Sign

They're 1/3 his age. And they speak meme.

Drones Are Making Porn Now, And It's Weirdly Soothing

What a clever way for robots to lower humanity's defenses before killing all of us.

Shy Bladder Spokesman Explains Why The Struggle Is Real (And Their Beef With Rob Lowe)

The actor keeps pissing off people who are afraid of public restrooms with his comments.

Harvard Sex Week Organizer Defends 'What What In The Butt' Workshop

Conservative critics aren't tickled by "Anal Sex 101."

Firefighter Resigns After Having Tons Of Sex All Over The Station

That's a job perk local heroes don't get.

A Dating Site Catfished Its Own Users And Got Fined $616,000

Attracted to your matches? Too bad, because they don't exist.

Police Arrest Man For Animal Sex Video, But It Was Just A Tiger Costume

"That's grrrrrrreat!" the tiger reportedly says.

What It's Like When You Can't Stop Pulling Out Your Hair

It's a disorder called "trichotillomania." Teenage girls are the most likely to become sufferers. And everything about it is a living hell.

Melanie Iglesias' Storm Costume Brings Heat To Halloween

Get it? "Heat"? Because Storm controls the weather? Never mind, just look at the pictures.

Drunk Guy Walks In Wrong Apartment, Climbs In Bed With Confused Neighbor

Yet another reason to lock your doors at night.

Watch Darth Vader Get Denied The Right To Vote In Ukraine

A guy dressed like the Sith Lord (who had legally changed his name to "Darth Vader") wouldn't remove the mask to cast his ballot.

This Teacher Allegedly Had Sex With A Student On Her First Day Of Work

This will be tough to explain on a résumé.

Doctor Explains How A Man Can Get Stuck Inside A Woman During Sex

It's called "penis captivus." It can last for hours. And no, it isn't awesome.

Watch Obama Shut Down Idiot Who Tells Him 'Don't Touch My Girlfriend'

You got to meet the president, dude, and THIS is what you say?!

How Much Would You Pay To Own The World's First Hoverboard?

Hint: it's $10,000. The answer is $10,000. Now available on Kickstarter.

This Girl Got Stuck In Her Ex's Chimney While Stalking Him

They went on six dates, he says. And then firefighters had to extract her from his chute with dish soap.

99 Things More Likely To Kill You Than Ebola

Before you buy a survival bunker, let's put things in perspective.

Billboard Featuring Giant Breasts Causes Over 500 Car Crashes

...but they were "small crashes," the company tells us.

'Black-ish' Goes Into 'Guy Code' Territory With Urinal Buffer Zone

...but we're not pissed off.