Throw a lump of clay on your pottery wheel, cue up "Unchained Melody," and when someone says "I love you," look deeply into their eyes and whisper... "Ditto."
It's the 25th anniversary of "Ghost," and this is how you celebrate.
Released in 1990, "Ghost" starred the late Patrick Swayze as a newly-deceased banker who enlists a psychic (Whoopi Goldberg) to help him contact his still-living lady love (Demi Moore) -- and if you think that sounds ridiculous, then you just haven't experienced the repeat-watchable magic of this amazing movie.
But we have! And today, on its 25th birthday, we watched it again and just had to ask:
How many dollars would it cost to rent this apartment now?
A million? A gazillion?
Is Demi Moore a vampire?
We're onto you, lady. Human beings don't just go 25 years without aging.
What kind of butthat is this stingy about saying, "I love you" back to the woman he lives with?
You're gonna regret this, just sayin'.
Can we, like, not see Carl shirtless again?
But can Sam be shirtless all the time?
Where do I file an official complaint that Patrick Swayze is not doing this to my ear right this minute?
Who's going to clean that up?
This is gonna be a lot less sexy when they're chipping dried clay off the wall with a paint scraper tomorrow.
Is this a metaphor for something?
Aww, buddy. They make pills for that.
Is there anything more embarrassing than being the only one who doesn't realize you're dead?
Where can I get this outfit?
Remember when phones had cords?
Does this mean there's no soccer in the afterlife?
Who filled out this police report?
Excuse me sirs, but you've got Whoopi's height wrong.
Is this a trick question?
Hey, isn't that the guy from "The X-Files" with the murderous conjoined twin?
Does anybody make a better "pained" face than Patrick Swayze?
Except when pain don't hurt, of course.
Ewww, what did I just say, Carl?
PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON.
Is this the most perfect gif ever to send to friends who are making poor dating decisions?
Are cats never not the biggest jerks on the planet?
Literally couldn't care less if you died. LITERALLY.
Is this the silliest message from the afterlife ever scrawled on a fogged mirror?
Real creative, Sam.
Did Willie Lopez only just realize that he's the bad guy?
He seems so surprised.
Did the hell demons just give Carl a purple nurple?
Judging by facial expression alone...
Can I get through even ten seconds of this final scene without turning into a weepy mess?
THERE. Was that so hard?
And finally, when Whoopi says, "They're waiting for you," does "they" mean "a change of clothes"?
Tell me he's not going to have to wear that shirt and those jeans for the rest of his ghost life. Just, please, let me have that small comfort.