23 Things Every Shady Person Knows To Be True

For all those currently #GrowingUpShady.

By Monique Steele

All across the Twitterverse, the hashtags #GrowingUp[Blank] have been taking over and reminding us all of our similarities -- no matter where in the world we’re from. Even though the hashtag has spanned multiple races, sexual orientations and genders, there’s one in particular that is serving as the calling card for shady people everywhere.

#GrowingUpShady has become that gentle reminder of what it’s like to sit on the sidelines and watch the drama unfold. It’s the hashtag for the person who isn’t in the drama but knows every last bit of it, and for those of us that are a bit too cunning for our own good. The hashtag also proves that there are some cornerstone tricks-of-the-trade that anyone who has actually “grown up shady” knows all too well.

If you’re reading this and you can relate, chances are you grew up a wee bit on the shady side yourself.

We always know how best to make an entrance.

And the proper art of joke making.

We know how best to get the actual tea.

Or better yet, what to do when you didn’t get the full tea and you gotta play dumb.

We know the sole "get-out-of-jail-free" card for any situation.

No but seriously, moms are the key to getting out of anything.

You must always have evidence.

And you gotta play it cool to get the proper dirt on everyone.

Believing "the friends that shade together stay together" is a key part of who we are.

And sometimes you have to make yourself everyone’s problem.

“If the shoe fits” is a key component in the shade-throwing handbook.

And so are the advantages of networking.

It’s not about being part of the drama, but knowing 100% of it...

...and that patience truly is a virtue.

Not even family is safe from the spillage.

Avoiding blame is a skill.

The rule is: “When we leave school, I don’t know you."

And the side-eye is the hallmark of a good shade.

We acknowledge that sometimes you have to make people aware that you’re a master of your craft...

...and that preparation is key.

We know a lie when we hear one.

And we have the receipts to prove it.

But most importantly, we always know when to get ourselves a cup of that piping hot tea.

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