'Scream Queens': Why Billie Lourd Is The Deadpan Chanel We Scream For

How very adolescent of you to think of this.

Okay, it's officially time to get something off our pink push-up bra clad chests -- as much as we always love Emma Roberts, after Tuesday night's (October 14) episode of "Scream Queens," "Pumpkin Patch," we're officially prepared to declare Billie Lourd's Chanel #3 as our favorite member of the KKT squad. From her dead-eyed stare to her absurd non-sequiturs to those deadpanned one-liners that would make Daria proud, #3 has proven herself to be the show's most valuable background(ish) player, delivering frequent LOL's and a solid mystery (Manson?!) that has us more than a little intrigued.

Below, find out why you need to get on board with #3:

Because she puts the dead in "deadpan."


A lot of what makes the Chanels so great -- besides their attire, of course -- is their quick wit and their penchant for thematically appropriate pop culture references. However, given the way that Oberlin, #5, Hester, and even Grace and Zayday tend to speak quickly, emphatically, and over each other, it's a welcome relief whenever #3 shows up with the perfectly deadpanned one-liner to shut all of those b--ches up once and for all. (Like her "MOM" definition from the pilot, which let us know pretty much straight away that #3 was going to be this show's deadpan snarker.)

Because she's a legitimate weirdo.


Everyone on "Scream Queens," even Grace, has something "off" about them. Like #5 is an anxious mess, for example, and #1 is a genuine sociopath. But only #3 can boast having Charles Manson as a biological father, which almost explains her dead-eyed creepiness and pretty in pink morbidity. When she says she needs an ali-buddy for murder alibis, we believe her -- because unlike the other girls, we'd be genuinely shocked if something mysterious wasn't going on with 3. And this is a horror show, so we like that.

Because her non-sequiturs are top-notch.


Yes, sure, that's how Michael Douglas died.

Because she supports the LGBTQ community.


The butch lesbian Sam needs more time at the front and center of this show -- which probably won't happen as she's almost definitely going to be killed off, but in the meantime, we'll be over here treasuring her quirky, will-they-won't-they-ish relationship with #3, who was the only Chanel who made any effort to reach out to a new pledge. (Minus Hester, who forcibly inserted herself into all of their lives and therefore doesn't count.) #3's relationship with Sam -- an audience surrogate for the liberals watching this series, if there ever was one -- definitely helped warm our heart to the character, as we strongly suspect that she wants a little more out of this friendship than an "ali-buddy."

Because earmuffs are so hot right now.


From mama Carrie Fisher to #3 herself, it's become abundantly clear that the Lourd-Fisher ladies are the absolute (Scream)QUEENS of making ear warmth look good. You know you're going to buy a pair. They're in your Amazon basket. We see you.

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