11 Reasons 'Smart House' Was The Stuff Of Nightmares

This whole mess was entirely Ben's fault.

Every kid remembers spending their nights snuggled up on the couch watching their favorite Disney Channel Original Movie (or DCOM, as the true fans call them). It was a calming, peaceful time, a great way to relax after a long day at school. That is, unless the movie was “Smart House.”

The film, which starred ultimate Disney bae Ryan Merriman and literal queen Katey Sagal, centered around Ben (Merriman), basically the dumbest teenager in the Disney universe, who decides it’s a good idea to reprogram the state-of-the-art smart house that his family won so that the computer, Pat (Sagal), starts acting like his mom (weird premise, I know). Predictably, things go horribly wrong, and Pat basically kidnaps the family and will not let them leave the house, resulting in a harrowing 82 minutes that was definitely not appropriate for children.

The movie was the pinnacle of mind-bending horror when it came to teen entertainment, and, TBH, it still haunts my dreams to this day. In honor of the film’s sixteenth anniversary (it was released on June 26, 1999!) here are all the reasons why “Smart House” was probably way too scary to show to small children.

It rings pretty true to the direction that technology is headed.

Disney Channel

Smart House Video Screens

Maybe not the music, but definitely the tech. Did "Smart House" predict the future? I hope not.

Like, how computers know wayyy too much about you.

Seriously, Pat can tell your nutritional needs just from your speech. If Siri learns to do that, I'm out.

Even from the beginning, all the warning signs were there.

Disney Channel

Smart House Malfunction

Pat started malfunctioning pretty much immediately. We're going to need a mechanic, stat. And maybe a hug.

Pat still terrifies us to this day.


Girl knew how to whip up one terrifying indoor windstorm.

Disney Channel

Smart House Pat Angry

She also knew how to mom-guilt us.

Disney Channel

Pat Smart House Guilt

Some people even think that Pat might actually be A from "PLL"

ABC Family

Ryan Merriman PLL

Ryan Merriman was on "Pretty Little Liars." And is that... a house? I mean, it probably wouldn't be the most ridiculous thing the show could come up with.

To top it all off, the whole movie comes down to an existential crisis.

Disney Channel

Smart House Weather

The family ends up “fixing” Pat by making her realize that she’s not actually real. Hello, trauma.

Plus, the Internet looked like this.

Disney Channel

Smart House Internet

And it was the days of these types of shirts.

Disney Channel

Smart House Pat Ben

It’s like eight sizes too big for him!

And finally, these dance moves.

Disney Channel

Smart House Dancing


TL;DR: "Smart House" is the stuff of nightmares.