See Michael Shannon Read the Angry Sorority Girl Email

If you are a part of the University of Maryland's Delta Gamma sorority, last week you received what can only be described as a scary, threatening, borderline violent email from one of your executive board members about how much you suck, a letter which was leaked to and subsequently thoroughly enjoyed by the rest of the human race.

And while the email itself was indeed quite terrifying (on so many levels), there were ways to make it even scarier — like, say, having Michael Shannon read it aloud to a camera in a dark room, as Funny or Die did this morning. Imagine Michael f**king Shannon (sorry, feeling the vibe of the video) sending that email to you? How quickly, exactly, would you do your best to go from "lame and awkward" to "not lame and awkward"? Pretty f**king quickly, we're guessing.

It makes you wonder: what else can Michael Shannon read aloud on camera? Can someone give him the Declaration of Independence to read on the 4th of July every year at the base of the Washington Monument? I'm starting to think that would be the most appropriate way to honor our forefathers.