Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic

How Does Robert Pattinson Make Pasta? He Microwaves It, Of Course

Yes, the food that you boil

Following his multi-year turn as the shimmering lead vampire, Edward Cullen, of Twilight's five blockbuster films, Robert Pattinson stepped back from major motion pictures. And with The Batman and Christopher Nolan's Tenet slated for release in 2020, this year should have marked his return to the big screen. But due to the coronavirus pandemic, he told GQ, "Literally, I’m just barely doing anything," in a chaotic, self-photographed cover story for the fashion magazine's June issue.

In the meantime, he is bored as all hell, waiting in quarantine with his girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse, in a London apartment with no Wi-Fi, rented for him by the people behind The Batman, and imagining an alternative career in the food industry. “How do you make a pasta which you can hold in your hand?” he posed, though he may have already known the solution.

Microwave it, was his answer. Yes, microwave the pasta — do not boil the thing you boil.

To an intermediate degree of sincerity, or perhaps a bit of playful performance art, the High Life actor demonstrated the preparation of his special recipe for GQ Staff Writer Zach Baron via FaceTime. First, naturally, he microwaved penne pasta (though his preference is the type that looks like "the hair bun on a girl”), which he then dumped into foil smothered with many layers of cheese and sugar. Then, he added an additional layer of crushed cornflakes, in place of breadcrumbs, followed by more sugar. The whole thing was topped with a red sauce and plopped on a hamburger bun.

Bellisimo, a pasta sandwich is born! Or, as Pattinson named it, piccolini cuscino. That's "little pillow" in Italian.

The recipe was part of a new business plan that the actor apparently went so far as to market to Lele Massimini, cofounder of the popular sushi restaurant Sugarfish and pasta bar Uovo. “I’m really trying to sell this company,” Pattinson said. “I’m doing this for my brand.” Massimini confirmed the story the story for GQ, saying, "It’s 100% true, everything he told you.”

Unfortunately, a taste test of the final prodcut could not be achieved, as Pattinson's borrowed appliance broke after an attempt at shoving the pasta inside. But the recipe may not be so out of the ordinary for the star: Pattinson, who has been living on a meal plan of oatmeal and select protein in preparation for The Batman, noted that he typically eats "like a wild animal... Like, out of a trash can."

And honestly, aren't we all feeling that a little bit during quarantine? You've got to make do between trips to the grocery store, after all.