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14 Reasons Daryl Dixon Is Actually A Cat

Hear me out. Don't judge.

On last Sunday's (March 1) episode of "The Walking Dead," the Grimes Gang finally earned some food and shelter in the Alexandria Safe Zone, over a full year -- in our time, anyway -- after they lost the prison to the Governor. However, when it came to enjoying the classy food and modern comforts that Virginia had to offer, there was a lone holdout: Daryl Dixon (Norman Reedus).

Instead of going inside to take a shower and grab a change of clothes like Rick and Carol, Daryl spent the episode hanging on the porch -- seemingly allergic to inside -- avoiding shower water like the plague, whining about things, and skinning innocent rodents. This quickly gave us the realization that, just as we suspected, Daryl Dixon simply is not human... because he's actually a cat.

Here's why:

He is wonderful at quietly tracking and killing small rodents.

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Squirrels, bunnies, and even rats never even know he's coming.

He has a very small circle of people he actually trusts.

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The only creature I know who trusts fewer people than Daryl Dixon? My cat, Arya.

... But when he trusts them, boy, does he trust them.

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Once Daryl knows he can trust you -- which might takes years -- he'll follow you loyally for life. (Except when he needs a nap.)

He gets obsessive about the things he wants, and won't let go until he gets them.

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Daryl's seven-episode mission to locate Sophia and Arya's lifelong mission to find all of my hair ties are basically the same thing. And equally obnoxious.

He likes to watch the world burn.

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Cats (and Daryl) aren't a part of your system, man.

He wears the same thing every day.

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Cats don't really have a choice in the matter, but still.

He's not afraid to cry when he really needs to.

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Even it it wakes you up at four in the morning.

He exercises complete control over his own hygiene.

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Bathing is for men like Rick Grimes, and dogs.

He's a licker.

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Cats, Daryl, and Norman Reedus himself are all fans of using the tongue. A lot.

He'd rather sleep in weird-ass places than a warm, comfy bed.

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I bet if you let Daryl sleep in my apartment, he'd fight Arya over the spot on top of the fridge.

He LOVES mutilating corpses.

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... And if you're lucky, he'll leave a piece in your bed as a special present!

You love him but he doesn't love you back -- not in the way you want him to.

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Just because he feels and shows affection differently than we do doesn't mean we shouldn't love him for who he is, right?

Sometimes he knocks s--t over for no discernible reason.

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Remember what I said about watching the world burn?

He's nobody's bitch.

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Boom. Self-explanatory. He's a damn cat.