A Worthy Pursuit: Achieving the Big O

The most important things for you to know about yours and your partner’s orgasms.

Did you know that a penis head has 4,000 nerve endings and the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings? (Sounds like the woman should have twice as much fun, huh?) When either sex organ is stimulated and pressure builds until climax, the man ejaculates and the woman experiences waves of contractions, aka, the orgasm.

In this episode oft “The Standing O,” sexologist Shannon Boodram discusses her favorite kind of “O” and YouTube star Josh Leyva acts as “Detective Orgasm.”

In your pursuit of the big O, here are some tips to keep in mind when having sex with your partner:

• Don’t be afraid to ask questions and communicate. (Like exclaiming, Yes, right there! Your partner will appreciate knowing that she/he’s bringing you to climax.)

• Tell your partner what turns you on, where you like to be touched and kissed during sex, and help them navigate your unique roadmap to the ultimate destination—your orgasm.

• If you’re not sure if your partner had an orgasm, it’s okay to ask during sex. There are times when men don’t ejaculate during orgasm (yep, guys, you can train yourself to have multiple O’s). Some women moan because they’re enjoying themselves during sex, but they might not reach orgasm through intercourse. (Some researchers say that 75% of women never reach orgasm through intercourse alone so understand that you both shouldn’t feel bad if she doesn’t climax this way, there are plenty of other ways to get there.)

• Dudes, be patient with your partner’s orgasm. Studies have found that some women take between 15 and 40 minutes to orgasm. Yes, that’s a looong time, so make sure you’re spending plenty of time on foreplay, and let bae know if you’re close to climaxing yourself—or, try to reach orgasm at the same time.

• Picking the right condom can help you both reach orgasm, not to mention you’ll feel more comfortable.

Use a condom every time. Responsible AF.