J.J. Abrams Boldy Goes Exactly Where He Has Gone Before

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We have a lot of news to get to today, so we're just going to lump it all into one report. So, this just in: The sky is blue, water is wet, George Clooney is handsome and everything tastes like chicken. And, oh yeah, one more thing: J.J. Abrams is going to direct "Star Trek 2."

Yes, in the litany of obvious things that are obvious, this is right up there with "never fight a land war in Asia," but it's still nice to have official word. And according to New York Magazine, that's just what we have, as Abrams has finally announced that, yes, he is doing "Star Trek 2," thank you very much.

Next up: Confirmation that everybody does, in fact, love Raymond.

Okay, we're kidding. Actually, it's nice to finally know for sure that Abrams is going to direct "Star Trek 2," because for the past several months he's been very careful not to commit to the film. That's mainly because he was so busy working on "Super 8" that it wasn't clear whether he would be free in time for "Star Trek 2."

In fact, things got so murky for a while there that Paramount yanked "Star Trek 2" off of their summer schedule for next year and replaced it with "G.I. Joe: Retaliation," which is kind of like going to a world famous burger joint and ordering vegan; you can eat it, but that doesn't make it food.

Now, though, fans can rest easy, because Abrams is officially ready to boldly go exactly where he has gone before. And that's the best "news" we've heard all day.