Character Countdown: Jersey Shore 2.5, Episode 6

For many couples, there's one straw that breaks the camel's back before a relationship ends.

But for Jersey Shore's Ronnie and Sammi, the camel's back has not only been broken, but backed over 1,000 with a dump truck -- and frankly, it's exhausting to watch. In Thursday's ep, the duo fought some more, broke up again, and made people on Divorce Court seem like matches made in heaven. Same ol', same ol'.

But the nice folks at MTV did make room for some other storylines, such as: Snooki's dream guy turning nightmare; Deena getting some action; Pauly rematching with his stalker from last year; and the Situation's fornication meeting hesitation when Ronnie spoiled the mood.

It's a swell summah at the show-ah!:

src="" alt="Ronnie" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/>


-- Goes out to bar and gets wasted, and puts his exemplary English skills to work: "I've dranken a lot more than I drank tonight." Ronnie, is your last name Merriam-Webster? (-3)

-- Walks in the house holding his crotch; faceplants on the bean bag in living room (-1)

-- Goes up to his room, vomits in a plastic bag alongside the bed (-4)

-- Wakes up and is having rectal bleeding (-5)

-- Goes to doctor, where he gets finger probed on television. Just when you think your hangover can't get any worse... (-4)

-- Apparently, Ronnie messed up his ass by drinking too much, but Jersey Shore isn't a show for learning useful medical facts, so we never really understand how or why it happened (-4)

-- Wants some personal space away from Sammi -- and in his defense, she is always up in his grill (+2)

-- They fight a bunch more, yada yada yada, they break up again (-3)

-- Says he wants to be left alone, but Sammi follows him around the house, trying to get him to talk to her. Looks like his personal space is being violated more than once this episode! (-4)

Net gain/loss: -26

Current total: 55

src="" alt="Sammi" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/> SAMMI (61)

-- At bar, Ronnie starts to drink a lot and Sammi starts to get annoyed. Here we go again! (-2)

-- Oh wait. She's going to be nice to him? At home, she fixes him a snack to try and soak up the alcohol (+3)

-- Unfortunately, he doesn't eat and expels his stomach contents into a plastic bag next to the bed (-2)

-- Sammi "doesn't do throw-up," so she's repulsed when gets puke on her hand (-4)

-- Laughs at Ron after he gets his rectum probed. Injury, meet insult (-3)

-- Sitch makes a good point: Sammi spends hours straightening her hair and it's already straight (-2)

-- Right before going out, starts fighting with Ronnie. Instead of going out anyway, she decides to stay home. Hopefully, she's staying home to laminate her "poor me" card, because that thing sure is getting tattered around the edges from so much use (-2)

-- Wakes up Ronnie and tries to lure him into her bed with the promise of clean sheets. No comment (-3)

-- Ronnie needs some personal space, but Sammi keeps following him around the house (-1)

-- She decides to move her stuff out of his room, but then the show ended so we were left hanging. Somehow, I bet they end up staying put and making each other miserable again next week (+0)

Net gain/loss: -16

Current total: 46

src="" alt="Snooki" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/> SNOOKI (35)

-- Comes home drunk from the bar and passes out in the dog pen with Jenni's dogs (-2)

-- In car, shares that she once spent an entire day masturbating and couldn't move the next day because her muscles were all sore. Gosh, now I wish I had Ronnie's plastic barf bag handy (-4)

-- At drug store, rides a kiddie tricycle around the aisles, breaks it, returns it to corner of the store. A few weeks later, Johnny's birthday party suddenly becomes a lot less fun (-3)

-- Brings home a gorilla from the bar and wants to have sex with him, but she gets her period. Perhaps this should be called "Too Much Information About Snooki's Vagina" episode (-2)

-- Has fun joking around with Gorilla Jeff the next morning, and asks him to go to the boardwalk and ride rides with her (+3)

-- Science with Snooki: She says the reason the ocean is salty is because it's filled with whale sperm (-5)

-- Jeff tells her he's been engaged before, which annoys her because she wants someone "fresh." She tells him not to call her (-1)

-- He calls her; she hangs up on him (-2)

-- He calls back again a couple of times and Pauly plays him out on the phone (+4)

-- Goes to sex store with the girls and is the only one to wear her Hustler costume home. I mean, she did put her bare ass in a fridge a few weeks ago, so I guess this shouldn't surprise me (-3)

-- She and the girls are two hours late to work, then has the nerve to get mad when her boss is annoyed (-3)

-- Gets angry again when her boss asks her to work instead of with J-Woww all day. Good thing she makes money from living her life on TV, because we can't even imagine her being gainfully employed (-3)

Net gain/loss: -21

Current total: 14

src="" alt="Deena" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/> DEENA (84)

-- On car ride to the pharmacy, brings up masturbating to Jenni and Snooki. This might be racy on any other show, but here, it's the tamest part of the episode (+1)

-- You know how Pig Pen in the Peanuts is always surrounded by a cloud of dirt? Well, that's how Deena is, except it's a cloud of hair spray (-3)

-- Ronnie's meaty friends come to visit, and she wants to smoosh one of them (+2)

-- When friend agrees to come home with her, she rushes everyone out of the bar and back home before he changes his mind (-3)

-- Said she wasn't going to have sex with him because "you need a golden ticket to get into these draw-ahs." (+2)

-- A golden ticket falls from the sky; sex is had. Oopsie (-2)

-- Goes out to bar alone with the guys again, and spend the night in a Jersey Turnpike position. (Definition: Bending over and grinding your ass into someone's crotch while dancing.) Klassy. (-4)

-- Deena: "Face down, ass up -- that's the way I like to have a good time." Dear Deena's Mom: I hope you're having an extra-strong drink tonight (-3)

Net gain/loss: -10

Current total: 74

src="" alt="Mike Sorrentino" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/>


-- Brings a girl home from bar, and gives her a purple t-shirt to wear that says Situation. Um.... so does he give these away as souvenirs now? "I got myself into a Situation and all I got was this lousy t-shirt (and herpes)." (-3)

-- Is snuggling in his bed with her, then Ronnie starts barfing in the next bed over. Despite his womanizing ways, we do feel really, really sorry for Sitch for getting stuck in this room (-3)

Net gain/loss: -6

Current total: 89

src="" alt="Pauly D" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/> PAULY D (94)

-- Pretends to be an answering machine when Snooki's boy-toy keeps calling, and his ad-libbing is hilarious and top-notch (+6)

-- Snooki thinks Pauly is so beautiful she wants him to father her babies someday so that they'll be pretty. Can you IMAGINE the hair on Snooki-Pauly offspring? (+3)

-- Says he doesn't hold grudges, so invites Danielle (his stalker from last season) over to the house. Yes, the same Danielle that poured a drink on his head a few weeks back (-2)

-- Digs out his I (heart) Jewish Girls t-shirt that she made him last season; puts it on (-1)

-- With Vinny, torments Danielle for a while before she decides to leave (-2)

Net gain/loss: +4

Current total: 98

src="" alt="J-Woww" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/> J-WOWW (110)

-- Has to extract Snooki from her dogs' area after she passes out in there (-2)

Net gain/loss: -2

Current total: 108

src="" alt="Vinnie" width="78" height="78" align="left" hspace="6"/> VINNY (123)

-- Scores the line of the night, in response to Ronnie and Sammi's nine millionth fight of the season: "Hell has to be just like this." Hey, that's how we feel every Thursday at 10, too! (+3)

Net gain/loss: +3

Current total: 126


Vinny: 126

J-Woww: 108

Pauly D: 98

The Situation: 89

Deena: 74

Ronnie: 55

Sammi: 46

Snooki: 14