No offense to Glenn Rhee or Jon Snow, but when it comes to facing certain death then turning away from the light at the last second to the delight of fans everywhere, no one's got it down quite like "The Vampire Diaries" perpetual redshirt Matt Donovan (Zach Roerig). Whether its somehow emerging from a room full of thirsty vampires with his jugular intact or returning to the mortal coil via ~ magic ~ , Matt's done it all, and more importantly, he's made it look good.

Below, find all of the times that Matt really, definitely, 100 percent should have died. But he didn't! Because he's just like that.

That one time Damon killed him to piss off Elena.

Stefan: "Hey Damon, I really want to turn Elena's humanity back on but I don't quite know how to do it."

Damon: "Eh, I'll just like, kill Matt or whatever. No one will mind."

That one time Silas killed him just for fun.

By the time Silas showed up to try to mind control Matt, the Mystic Grill employee's neck was so used to being snapped that there wasn't even any redness or soreness the next day. Just like riding a bike, right Matty?

That one time a Traveler in Sheriff Forbes' body killed him, because evil.

RIP, Matt's neck. AGAIN.

That one time Bonnie killed him so Stefan and Damon could get their house back.

It didn't even work.

That one time Katherine stabbed him.

And at least this got the Traveler out of him, right?

That one time Kol stabbed him.

Never trust an Original, Matty.

That one time Jonas stabbed him.

At least he got to find out about Caroline's vampirism as a consolation prize?

That one time Tyler (accidentally) stabbed him.

Which was worse -- the stabbing, or Caroline's sub-par Benatar karaoke?

That one time he stabbed himself.

That is definitely one way to prove you're not a Traveler.

That one time Kai nearly choked him to death.

What, you honestly thought he was dead?

That one time Enzo ran over him with a car.

The things Matt would do for Sarah Salvatore.

That time he nearly forced Tyler to kill him, so that Katherine could have a new werewolf pal.

It's cool, that other totally innocent girl died instead.

That one time he drowned himself to hang out with his ghost sister.

Meanwhile, my brother won't even return my text messages.

That one time he almost drowned himself to not hit Rebekah with his car.

AKA, the "accident" that killed Elena.

That one time his ghost sister later bludgeoned him.

Hey, siblings fight!

That one time Damon bit him.

It was to help save Elena from a maybe-evil Pastor, guys. It's cool.

The multiple times Elena bit him.

It was to help feed Elena, guys. It's cool.

That one a baby vampire sent by Klaus bit him.

It was to help Jeremy become the best vampire hunter he could be, guys. It's cool.

Congrats on surviving this long, Matt! Here's to 18 more!