The 11 Stages Of Finding Out John Green Is Writing Something New

Excuse us while we feel EVERYTHING.

Ever since the exquisite emotional trauma of "The Fault in Our Stars," we've been waiting with equal parts anticipation and dread for John Green to release another amazing, heartbreaking book.

And now, it would seem that this long-awaited event is finally in the works (or possibly a short story [or maybe a magazine {or a grocery list, we don't know, let's just assume it's a book}]).

Early this morning, John Green appeared on Twitter to let the world know that he wouldn't be reappearing on Twitter again for some time -- in order to focus on the new story he is officially writing.

Needless to say, we're going to need some time to emotionally process this news.

  1. First, we dance.
  2. Then, some cheering.
  3. Then, ACTUAL HEART ATTACK.
    20th Century FOX
  4. Can you even? We cannot even.
  5. But wait... this means John Green won't be dishing up awesomeness on Twitter for, like, a month. At least!
  6. And what about Tumblr? And Crash Course? AND VLOGBROTHERS? Um, no. NO. NOOOOOO.
  7. OH GOD, THIS IS TERRIBLE.
  8. And we don't even know what the new book is about!
  9. BRB, experiencing too many feelings, hiding somewhere safe.
  10. But when it's all over, we'll have another John Green novel to read, and it'll probably rip our souls out, so that will be great.
  11. And if this is the sacrifice we have to make for the sake of the next Green American novel, then... well. You know.