So, OK, intellectually, we completely understand that Kristen Wiig is much too busy as an actress, writer, and comedienne to start a side business called "Wiig's Wigs" so that she can share her hairstyles with the world.
Emotionally, though? Cannot. Handle.
Because Kristen Wiig is a beautiful angel descended from hair heaven, and shouldn't the rest of us have a chance to experience this magic? Please? One perfect ponytail is all I ask.
Over the years, Kristen has proved that she can carry literally any color, cut, or style -- and whether it's because she takes her status as a hair icon seriously or just because she's easily bored, she's constantly changing things up. So, in honor of Kristen's birthday, we've assembled this gallery of all her best coifs.
-
Remember when Kristen rocked long, bleach-blonde waves better than Britney?
-
Her Academy Awards look: pure Old Hollywood hair glam.
-
Sorry, Zooey: Kristen did it better.
-
Shiny locks and a subtle red sheen were the highlight of her Golden Globes presentation with Will Ferrell.
-
Were minions required to achieve this perfect flat-iron job?
-
No wonder Walter Mitty was all about Kristen's Cheryl Melhoff -- just look at her on-point blowout.
-
NBD, just nailing the casual cool-girl pony.
-
Kristen's "Bridesmaids" character might have gone through some shizz, but her hair game never suffered.
-
This simple updo has exactly the right amount of flyaway to keep it from looking severe.
-
Gilly might've been a little sociopath, but her fro'n'bow was choice.
-
Ooooh, ravishing in a classic red.
-
Or a deep, rich auburn.
-
This pin-straight look is very posh.
-
Of course Kristen can ombre like a boss.
-
We've never seen the actress in a real pixie crop, but this is close enough to show how great she'd look in one.
-
Do we spy a little splash of punky pink in this pic? I THINK SO. AND I LIKE IT.
-
To quote an entirely different movie: Kristen looks so good with blonde hair and black roots, it's not even funny.
-
Is it possible to die of someone else's cute topknot? Asking for a [dead].
-
We love the Wiig in this perfect blunt bob.
-
Leave it to Kristen to make a person look at this midwest mom perm and think, "Hmmm. Should I?"
-
The 1960s called, and they don't want this look back, because it looks that good on her.
-
Absolutely killing it with the cropped waves and side sweep.
-
And of course, as a hair expert, Kristen always knows the right style to hide your flaws. Like, oh, say, a high forehead.