One Direction/YouTube

24 Bizarre Pop Star Fragrance Commercials Ranked By Weirdness

Let's get weird.

Perfume and cologne commercials are, by their very nature, strange and often ridiculous (and usually glamorous, but not always -- more on that in a second). I mean, how are you supposed to tell people that your smell is better than other smells when they can't actually...smell it? They've gotta build hype somehow, which is why these ads are so consistently over-the-top that a parody of a celebrity fragrance TV spot can be indistinguishable from a real one. But even among the weirdness of excessive neck-touching, fake-sweat dripping and writhing around hotel rooms and enchanted forests, there's truly weird stuff.

Before we launch into this ranker, let me draw a line between weird-funny and just plain weird. Take the latest One Direction commercial for their new fragrance Between Us, for example. It's hilarious!

But when we talk about "weird pop star fragrance promos," we mean weird. If a commercial is too sunny and casual and looks like it's selling jeans or the new iPod, it's not weird enough. And if it's just a basic seductive-lady-meets-starstruck-man scenario, it's also not weird enough. So without further ado, let's get weird.

  1. Christina Aguilera - By Night (2009)

    A fairly normal entry that tries to be different by adding sepia-tone in post-production and framing the entire spot as a 1940s Old Hollywood newsreel clip. It kinda works, but only kinda. This would fall under "Marginally Weird." Xtina makes a picture-perfect femme fatale, though.

  2. One Direction - You & I (2013)

    Relatively unweird, but still off-the-beaten-path enough to warrant a spot on this list. They're a boy band, they're rapscallions, we get it. Now, what does this stuff actually smell like?

  3. Jay Z - Gold (2013)

    Liquid gold spilling all over a woman's body is weirder than we would've expected from Jay, but ultimately still a little predictable.

  4. One Direction - Our Moment (2013)

    This one can't decide what it wants to be. "My Favorite Things" plays as the then-quintet (*sigh*) becomes increasingly more playful with their props -- it's weird, but it's still pretty safe IMHO.

  5. Hilary Duff - With Love (2006)

    So, does this fragrance invite a Boris-and-Natasha spy game kinda situation or...?

  6. Selena Gomez - Selena Gomez (2011)

    This one is kinda like when Matthew McConaughey ends up in the fifth dimension in Interstellar. We're into it.

  7. Avril Lavigne - Wild Rose (2011)

    It starts like an Ethan Allen commercial, then BOOM! The CGI kicks in, and it's perfume after all.

  8. Beyoncé - Rise (2014)

    Compared to the TV spots for her earlier perfumes (the icy Pulse and the fiery Heat), this Rise clip plays more like a Batman pep talk than a fragrance ad. Still, props to Bey's team for the visual diversity among the three.

  9. Justin Bieber - Someday (2011)

    Buy this perfume and Biebs will Peter Pan into your room and get intimate with the nape of your neck whenever you want! That's some weirdness we can get behind.

  10. Britney Spears - Radiance (2010)

    Crystal baller, eh? We're getting a little clairvoyant up in here, which is good, but it could get weirder. And it does.

  11. Jennifer Lopez - Love And Glamour (2010)

    The Old Hollywood thing again? This one feels a little stale because of it, but the goofiness of the narration gives it some cringe-worthy points, like a reel of family home movies would.

  12. Shakira - Elixir (2013)

    I am fully confident that Shakira summoned that falcon with her mind (or her bewitching moves), so that's definitely weird enough.

  13. Gwen Stefani - L (2007)

    Watch how she emerges from that perfume bottle at the end like Aphrodite standing on the shore in a gigantic clamshell. Just WATCH.

  14. Taylor Swift - Wonderstruck (2011)

    This is a pretty safe commercial that keeps within Tay's pre-Red understated demeanor. But weird points here for its (unintentional) foreshadowing of her opulent, heart-breaking "Blank Space" video three years later.

  15. Britney Spears - Curious (2004)

    This probably gets most of its points from being straight-up iconic as far as celebrity fragrance ads go. As brilliant as it is cheesy and typical in concept, this spot had us extremely curious about what Britney's next move in the fragrance move would be. Of course, she didn't disappoint.

  16. Britney Spears - Fantasy Twist (2012)

    Egyptian goddess Britney, '30s cocktail Britney and goth Britney meet in a hotel hallway, and it's the best kind of weird.

  17. Michael Jackson - Mystique/Legende (1989)

    As boring as the infomercial approach is, this one racks up serious weirdness points for the creepy MJ holographic bottles, which the narrator points out were meant to be "saved and collected." BRB, hitting up eBay.

  18. Justin Bieber - The Key (2013)

    Ah yes, the classic "perfume commercial disguised as a short film" trick. This is the stuff parodies are made of. Buy this perfume and Bieber will have access to your bedroom!

  19. Rihanna - Reb'l Fleur (2011)

    A time-warped Rih with dark pink hair gets buried in feathers and saunters around a hedge maze? Yes. This is weird enough.

  20. Britney Spears - Fantasy (2005)

    "But she was leaving soon... On a goddess world tour... So, he did something kind of crazy... And they lived happily ever after." #instantclassic There's a reason Britney has 18 fragrances (and counting).

  21. Nicki Minaj - Pink Friday (2012)

    Just sittin' on the Queensboro Bridge in a pink tutu and zapping the moon into a disco ball. NBD.

  22. Katy Perry - Killer Queen (2013)

    BOW DOWN B-----S. The queen is here.

  23. Nicki Minaj - Minajesty (2013)

    Where to begin? This is like an epic fantasy-romance novel that leapt to life and cast Nicki in the main role. No graduating film school senior can make a more artfully strange and compelling piece of cinema. And yes, that is a challenge.

  24. Lady Gaga - Fame (2012)

    This is not a fragrance commercial. This is the future of smell as we know it. (Side note: Is it any wonder Gaga landed a gig on "American Horror Story: Hotel"?) You'll always win the weird, Gaga.