Warner Bros.

'Magic Mike XXL': 21 Red Hot, Burning Questions We Have After Seeing The Sequel

We need at least three more sequels to figure this all out, plz.

At this point, we've seen every thrust, crotch-grab, and BSB convenience store hump that "Magic Mike XXL" has to offer. But since we're still completely fixated on Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, and the rest of the gang's continued success, we still have several hot, burning questions for the manly men from Tampa. Questions like...

  1. So, did they win the, uh, "contest?"

    I guess it wasn't actually a contest? I vaguely remember Elizabeth Banks' character talking about that, but I got distracted by Channing Tatum's face. Still, it's fair to assume that the convention exists for more than sh-ts and giggles. Did they actually land some new gigs? Win some money?

  2. Will the boys keep stripping?!

    This is the money question, here. All of them seemed to be enjoying their "Furious 7"-style final ride -- but if the sequel (and the strippers!) makes money, can it ever be truly final?

  3. Did Mike's long-suffering employee ever get health care?

    Everyone has the right to a goddamn health care plan, Mike. Keep turning him down, and you're going to lose your most valuable (slash only) employee.

  4. Did Tito's fro-yo business become a smashing success?

    That artisanal sh-t sounded delicious. Those ladies at the convention seemed to have a lot of dollars -- maybe he finally booked a solid investor?

  5. Will Big Dick Richie ever get over his fear of fire?

    As a childhood house-fire survivor, I get it, man. But you can't let that fear keep you away from living, you know?

  6. Will Ken ever graduate to a level four healer?

    He was doing a pretty solid job at level three. I mean, Bomer's blue eyes could heal my aching back (and soul), so.

  7. Will Mike hook up with Rome?

    Tbh, I ship #Rike (Mome?) more than any other Mike-centric pairing in this franchise.

  8. Will Mike hook up with Zoe?!

    I know she was in a girl phase, but the very fact that she called it a girl phase means she could theoretically come around to Mike one day? But do we want her to? Nahhhhh. I ship Zoe and that cake (#Zake) -- and a successful photography career.

  9. Will BDR and Andie MacDowell find true love forever and ever?

    I mean, duh. Of course they will.

  10. Did Andie MacDowell's friend patch things up with her husband?

    ... And if she didn't, will she run straight back to the understanding arms of Ken?

  11. Did Mike's clients ever get their furniture orders?
    Warner Bros.

    Like, when you run a fledgling business and have several orders to fill, is it really cool to peace out for a week and leave all the purchase orders to your inferior -- who doesn't even have health care?

  12. Did Mike EVER GET A NEW PHONE?!

    Cell phone crime is a serious issue and should not be taken lightly.

  13. Who the hell was that girl with the helmet in the beginning?

    That was weird.

  14. Who cleaned up all of the money after the routine?

    There were so. Many. Dollars.

    How can we even be sure that they were given to their rightful owners? Did Rome scoop them up during the performances? Is "stripper money scooper-upper" a job you can apply for on Craigslist?

  15. Do they split their tip money evenly, or is it dog-eat-dog?

    Because I'd give most of my money to Big Dick Richie, if we're being honest.

  16. Is Tobias, like, okay?

    All I'm saying is, I wouldn't have been as cool as Tobias was with my friends peacing out and leaving me in the hospital on a road trip.

  17. Was Big Dick Richie's S&M chair based off "Fifty Shades?"

    It was either that, or an OB-GYN chair. Also, was that damn thing even safe?

  18. How did Tarzan do that "painting" so quickly?

    Come on, they had to have pre-made it then picked a woman from the audience who looked the most similar, right?

  19. Did Andre drop a successful album after the convention?

    Cause "Marry You" was on fleek.

  20. Are Dallas and The Kid truly happy?

    Probably not. And TBH, I never even missed them?

  21. Will the Meagle family finally be proud of Ginuwine now that he's been featured in two "Magic Mike" movies?

    If not, at least Chris Pratt will be there to comfort him, right?