50 Things We Need To See In The 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Sequel

We easily could have asked for 100.

So the good news is, we have two "Fifty Shades of Grey" sequels on the way. The bad news is, the first one -- "Fifty Shades Darker" -- won't hit theaters until February 10, 2017. Crap. Double crap.

But to find a silver lining in all of those grey Seattle clouds, we've come up with a tantalizing list of the 50 things we have to see from Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan and more in "Fifty Shades Darker" -- as of now. We might just come up with a zillion more before 2017, when we all have flying cars and "The Winds of Winter" is at Barnes and Noble.

Warning: Some spoilers for "Fifty Shades Darker" beyond this point.

  1. The female gaze.

    Our biggest complaint about the first "Fifty" as that its nude scenes focused almost entirely on Anastasia. Um, don't you know who your audience is?!

  2. This might go hand-in-hand with the first point, but come on, Dornan -- she showed you hers.

  3. Dildos.

    There were no dildos present in Christian's Red Room of Pain. How could that even happen?!

  4. Ben-Wa balls.

    (This list is not only made up of sex toys.)

  5. Masquerade balls.

    Based on the first still from "Darker," we think we'll get our wish on this one.

  6. Anastasia actually finishing a meal.

    Between the sushi, the chicken salad and the pancakes, Ana sure did encounter a lot of food without actually eating it. (Pencils don't count.)

  7. Katherine Kavanaugh being a good journalist.

    Right now, I just don't buy it. (Who sends their roommate?!)

  8. Rita Ora.

    Remember when she was in the first "Fifty Shades?" Me neither, really.

  9. Luke Grimes.

    Same goes for this guy.

  10. Jose.

    ... And this guy too, cause Christian basically pushed him out of the first movie.

  11. Ana actually working.

    Let's see what this smarty pants is made of.

  12. Some additional shades of grey.

    There were really only a few in the first one.

  13. A trip to space.

    They already went gliding and took multiple helicopter rides, so a trip to space seems like a logical next step.

  14. A trip through time.

    Alternatively, if space doesn't work out, time works just fine, too.

  15. The high-stakes helicopter crash.

    Why not make this an action movie?

  16. Those jellyfish that are Ana's inner goddess.

    They're screaming.

  17. Christian's first, crappy proposal.

    Try again, buddy.

  18. Christian's second, romantic proposal.

    That's better.

  19. More moody, "Grey's Anatomy"-style montages.

    Seattle is a moody place.

  20. ... Or just a "Grey's Anatomy" crossover.

    Why not just go for it?

  21. More Beyonce songs.

    There's no romance without Beyonce.

  22. More sex.

    You definitely could have used more than 20 minutes in the first one. This is a sex movie.

  23. More real estate porn.

    We live vicariously thorough you, Christian.

  24. More elevators.

    Does anything say love quite like a long, slow ride in an elevator?

  25. The aftermath of that breakup.

    It was an ugly fight, so the aftermath should be appropriately messy.

  26. The phrase "holy cow."

    Come one, they've gotta pay homage to book Ana just a little bit.

  27. The phrase "double crap."



    It's time to meet the woman behind the awful nickname.

  29. A great freaking actress as Mrs. Robinson.

    Would it be too weird if Melanie Griffith took on the role? Yes?

  30. Fashion.

    Ana's twirly pink dress was fun and all, but it's time to step it up a notch with Ana's wardrobe.

  31. That weird food sex scene.

    Please don't cut it. We need more weird. Ice cream sex weird.

  32. More drunk Ana.

    Let's be real, she made a hilarious drunk person.

  33. Actually, just more comedy for Dakota Johnson in general.

    Dakota's comic timing made the first movie worth watching. Let's see more.

  34. That catamaran ride.

    It's where he first says he loves her!

  35. An honest look at Christian's... tendencies.

    In "Darker," Christian does some things that are full on stalker -- like, you know, purchasing the company Ana works for so he can control her 24/7. Hopefully, the movie will not portray this as being strictly romantic, as it shows a lot of damage within his character.

  36. Changed ways.

    Women shouldn't leave the film thinking they can "change" a man like Christian, but still -- if we want to justify our heroine still being with him, we have to see some emotional growth on his part.

  37. Mama Grey.

    She was fierce.

  38. Ana and Mrs. Robinson's crazy showdowns.

    So. Much. Drama.

  39. Christian's epic birthday party.

    Let's have a billionaire show us how it's done.

  40. A trip to an exotic location.

    Seattle is great, but as "Real Housewives" has already proven, vacations are where the real magic happens.

  41. No more lip biting.

    Enough is enough. It's going to start leaving marks.


    Hey, I didn't say I was totally done with the handcuffs.

  43. All of that book stuff with Ana's birth control.

    It's important for the kids!

  44. More emotional range from Jamie Dornan.


  45. An even sexier soundtrack.

    The first one was fantastic -- let's up the ante, kids.

  46. Kate and Elliot's healthy relationship.

    Why not give the kids a universally positive relationship goal between two gorgeous blond people?

  47. More Red Room of Pain.

    It's just so fun to say! (And watch.)

  48. More tender, lowkey relationship moments.

    It's nice to be reminded that it's not all about the whipping.

  49. A night where they stay in and watch Netflix.

    Since they're really going for it with the whole couple thing, they might as well act like one.

  50. The tampon scene.

    Haha, just kidding. Periods aren't gross, but pulling someone's tampon out without permission definitely is.