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13 Lessons The New Royal Baby Needs To Learn From ‘The Princess Diaries’

Kate Middleton has given birth to a baby girl. Who better than Mia Thermopolis to teach the new princess how to rule?

The second royal baby has arrived! On Saturday morning (May 2), Duchess Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby girl in London, giving the world a brand new princess.

Kensington Palace announced the news via a series of tweets and said both Catherine and her daughter (whose name has yet to be announced) are “doing well.”

This is Kate and Prince William’s second child, behind 21-month-old son Prince George. She’ll be fourth in line for the throne, behind her grandfather Prince Charles, her father, and her brother (sorry, Harry).

While we all wait in eager anticipation for our first glimpse at the new royal, we’d like to celebrate this momentous occasion by offering her some sage advice. But, because we don’t actually have any personal experience wearing a crown (unless you count fake birthday tiaras from Target?), we’re turning to our fave onscreen royals: Princess Mia Thermopolis and Queen Clarisse Renaldi from "The Princess Diaries."

Here are the Genovian rulers’ 13 most valuable pieces of advice for the world’s new princess:

  1. Be picky when it comes to boys.

    We’re sure invisibility won’t be a problem for you, Princess. But because you’ll undoubtedly be surrounded by throngs of admiring suitors, it’s important to pick out the ones who really care about who you are, not just the title you bear. Bonus points if they play in a band and will eat M&M-topped pizza with you.

  2. Learn how to dance.

    There’ll be tons of fancy shmancy balls and formal palace parties in your future, so work on those moves, girl.

  3. Become BFFs with your chauffeur.

    He’s super wise and he’ll do things like buy you shoes and save you when you’re stuck in the rain. Just don’t call him Joey.

  4. Posture is important.

    No shlumping!

  5. Please indulge us normies and try to forgive our fascination with you.

    Not going to sugercoat it, we WILL fawn over you. You’re a princess, after all! Sorry in advance for obsessing over your inevitably shiny hair and immaculate wardrobe.

  6. Princess lessons are boring, but if you maintain a sense of humor you’ll be fine.

    And please recreate this scene if you ever actually have to use a fan.

  7. Every girl deserves a real foot-poppin’ kiss.

    Just make sure it’s not in a beach shed with some Backstreet Boy-looking jock who only uses you for media attention and won’t even give you a foot massage.

  8. Others run on YOUR schedule.

    You’re not bossy, you’re the boss.

  9. Stick up for yourself.

    Chances are, there will be plenty of people telling you what to do everyday. But it’s OK to assert your independence and live a little!

  10. Remember: Sorbet is cold.

    Take small bites!

  11. Please acknowledge us commoners with cool hand gestures.

    Remember to cap it off with, “thank you for being here today.”

  12. DEFINITELY turn your palace staircase into a mattress slide.

    Not that we want to get you grounded or anything, but this scene absolutely needs to be recreated IRL.

  13. And finally, don’t chase chickens.

    But we’re sure your grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, will teach you that in due time.