It's not quite May 15 yet (we know) but who says that's too early for us to start analyzing the heck out of "Pitch Perfect 2"? No one, that's who.
In preparation for this aca-amazing spring release, we've taken the liberty of ranking all the songs of the "Pitch Perfect" ouvre -- the songs featured in the first film, as well as the performances we've heard in the trailers so far -- for your convenience, reference and argumentation. Here they are, ranked from "meh," to pitch freakin' perfect.
"The Final Countdown," The Hullabahoos
Oh, it barely counts.
"Let It Whip," The Treblemakers
Fine, we'd want to join their group after hearing this walking around campus. But after seeing those moves, we'd rethink.
"The Sign/Eternal Flame/Turn the Beat Around," The Bellas
Zzzzz. Lovely singing, nice soundtrack for a nap, even with Fat Amy's contributions.
"Party in the USA," The Bellas
They are playing my song. [Puts hands up.]
"Blame It On the Boogie," The Footnotes
Very few complaints! Just not, in the grand scheme of things, our favorite.
"Please Don't Stop the Music," The Treblemakers
We love some good synchronized man-dancing, but RiRi belongs with RiRi. Step off our girl. #iconic
"Bootylicious," The Green Bay Packers ("Pitch Perfect 2" Super Bowl spot)Universal
Points for creativity and confidence. Sounds a little thin.
"Just the Way You Are/Just A Dream," The Bellas
Setting aside the fact that no one ever could just come up with that arrangement on the spot, this is a nice little number. A little boring, but very nice nonetheless.
"Uprising," The Sound Machine ("Pitch Perfect 2" trailer)Universal
Scary, yes, but this Muse cover also sounds like it's gonna be scary cool.
"F--k You," The Sockapella
They're socks!!!!! With a social conscience, no less.
Battle: "Poison," Bellas and Sound Machine ("Pitch Perfect 2" trailer)Universal
OK, yes, love a good rap battle. Love even more: an a cappella rap battle. Sold.
"Wrecking Ball," The Bellas ("Pitch Perfect 2" trailer)Universal
Wardrobe malfunctions aside, The Bellas performing "Wrecking Ball" for the president? With aerial elements involved? Yes, please.
Even if the final DQ was total BS, we can't help but marvel at the mastery. And who doesn't want to hang out in a hollowed out pool (??) harmonizing with all their favorite pals?
"Cups (Audition version)," Beca
She didn't know she had to prepare a song, but we weren't prepared for her to blow our effing minds either. So.
"Cups (a cappella)," The Bellas (First "Pitch Perfect 2" trailer)
THE FEELINGS. It gave us so many feelings!
"Right Round," The Treblemakers
Huge, huge points for that dance move where they pretend some of the dudes are record players and other dudes are DJs.
"Price Tag/Don't You Forget About Me," The Bellas
An unexpected yet delightful mash-up! The best part is when she puts her fist up, because duh, but some of the other dance moves are super distracting.
"Before He Cheats," The Bellas ("Pitch Perfect 2" Super Bowl spot)Universal
Wait, but this sounds perfect. It's fierce as hell, and we're blessed with Anna Kendrick angry singing, a real specialty of hers.
"Since U Been Gone," various
HAVE YOU EVER. We have never. And we like it. A lot.
"Who Run The World," The Bellas ("Pitch Perfect 2" trailer)Universal
The Barden Bellas were actually born for this moment, harmonizing Beyonce in front of a friggin' wall of blinding lights. It's going to be amazing.
"Bright Lights Bigger City/Magic," The Treblemakers
1. Skylar Astin's singing voice.
2. Benji's big entrance.
3. The team high fiving/clapping.
4. Can't type anymore, need hands to clutch chest.
"Pitch Perfect 2" hits theaters May 5.