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Meet The Lawmaker Who Wants To Ban Yoga Pants ... And Men's Nipples?!

Rep. David Moore wants people in Montana to stop dressing so gosh-darn sexy.

Our society often struggles to find the perfect balance between personal liberty and collective order. But whatever that harmonious ideal is, it's ... probably not this politician's suggestion.


On Tuesday (Feb. 10), Rep. David Moore, a Republican member of the Montana legislature, introduced HB 365, a bill that would criminalize form-fitting clothing in the state. "Yoga pants should be illegal in public," Moore said, according to the Associated Press.

He reportedly feels the same way about Speedos and all other tight clothes.

Specifically, Moore's law would ban any garment -- and we're quoting here -- that "gives the appearance of or simulates the genitals, pubic hair, anus region, or pubic hair region ... or exposes the areola or nipple of the person's breast with anything less than a fully opaque covering while in a public place or visible from a public place." And enforcement "disregards whether a reasonable person would be offended or alarmed by the act."

That's right, the law actually says it doesn't matter whether the general public -- y'know, the general public that elected Moore -- considers this completely fu--ing insane.

Also, "areola or nipple" apparently doesn't only apply to lady chests. A fellow Montana lawmaker, Democratic Rep. Virginia Court, pointed out that "you are kind of being a little prejudiced against women," so now under Moore's law, being shirtless in public would be illegal for guys too, according to the AP. At least there's no sexist double standard in Moore's theocracy?

Moore introduced the law after naked bicyclists pedaled through his town of Missoula. A first offense for wearing revealing clothing would result in a $500 maximim fine and six months in jail. A second offense would be double that.

At least the law would eliminate the current third offense penalty for public indecency in Montana: "life imprisonment." Three strikes strips, you're out!