In Another Universe, Zayn Is Still With One Direction And You're Married To Him

Let quantum theory soothe your broken heart.

If you still can't get through the day without sobbing over Zayn Malik's choice to leave One Direction, then hey, no judgments here! We, personally, couldn't even get through this sentence. SOB.

[Wails, rends clothing, falls to knees in anguish and howls Zayn's name into the infinite indifference of the universe as it starts to rain.]

But as it turns out, renowned physicist and genius Stephen Hawking has offered the best comfort yet for fans who are heartbroken over Zayn's One Direction exit: The vision of another universe, just as real as this one, in which Zayn not only never left the band, but is also married. To me. (Or to you!)

Appearing in hologram form at the Sydney Opera House, Hawking was asked by an audience member what the cosmological effect might be of Zayn's devastating 1D departure, according to The Hollywood Reporter. His reply:

"Finally, a question about something important. My advice to any heartbroken young girl is to pay close attention to the study of theoretical physics. Because one day there may well be proof of multiple universes. It would not be beyond the realms of possibility that somewhere outside of our own universe lies another different universe. And in that universe, Zayn is still in One Direction."

Also, Hawking said, "This girl may like to know that in another possible universe, she and Zayn are happily married."

And if Stephen Hawking said it, you guys, it must be true. Now let's dry our tears and get down to the important business of building a machine that can rip a hole in the fabric of space and time, so we can crawl through it, murder our multiverse doppelganger, and take our rightful place by the side of our beloved hubby Zayn.

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