With the return of political thriller "Scandal" upon us on September 25, there are no doubt some among us who have taken it upon themselves to stream past episodes and catch up on the show's history. Yes, Virginia, there are people out there who haven't been avidly watching the ups and downs of Olivia Pope and Co. for the past three years. I know.
Much like any major life event (marriages, graduations, accepting that the "Dance Moms" girl really is in that Sia video), marathoning "Scandal" for the first time comes with its own set of complex emotional stages. There's the thrill of first love, the contentment of getting comfortable with something, disbelief when you're surprised, and the inevitable grief that there's just no more. And grief, as we learned from "The Fault In Our Stars," demands to be felt. Feel it, man.
Ahead, the 19 stages of catching up with "Scandal."
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.
1. What's this "Scandal" I've been hearing about? How scandalous could it possibly be?
2. There are only three seasons? Easy peasy.
3. OK, so that's Olivia. Sure. I've gotta start getting my ish tailored.
4. Oh, he's the president? Dayum. Oh, this is gonna be stressful.
5. Your gut is always wrong, Olivia.
7. "President Langston"?!
8. Well, guess everyone's a murderer. Literally everyone.
9. Get on the plane, Olivia. That's not a plane, Olivia.
10. Why are you in the president's bunker, Olivia?
14. That's one way to get dental care.
17. TEAM JAKE FOREVER!
18. But...where's Olivia? And why do I have to wait?
19. Is it September 25 yet?
"Scandal" returns to ABC September 25.