[artist id="1737245"]Lindsay Lohan[/artist] is single and looking to mingle.
Having split with girlfriend Samantha Ronson, the actress/ professional paparazzi target is "searching for love" — on dating Web site eHarmony.com of all places.
"I'm looking for someone who I can spend the rest of my life with — or at least the rest of my probation with," Lohan says in her just-posted video personal. "I'm an actress, a singer, an entrepreneur, and I have single-handedly kept 90 percent of all gossip Web sites in business. ... I'm a workaholic, a shopaholic and, according to the state of California, an alcoholic, as well as a threat to all security guards if they work at hotels. And to put all those rumors to rest, I am not broke. I actually have over $400 in the bank and 20,000 Marlboro Miles, which I'm very proud of."
Lohan is looking for a guy or gal "who likes a night out on the town (as long as he or she is driving), ankle monitoring bracelets and doesn't have family members quick to issue restraining orders," and she describes her dream date as "long walks on the beach, car chases on the PCH, antiquing and passing out in Cadillac Escalades."
She finishes the video by saying, "So if you think you can handle a redhead with a little bit of sass — and by that, I mean, a redhead that's crazy ... we'll crash a few parties, a car or two, but at the end of the day, I promise you I never lose my Google hits ... just my underwear."
It's a pretty honest assessment ... and it's also a complete joke (sorry, ladies and gents). Lohan filmed the mock personal for online humor site FunnyOrDie.com in an attempt to poke fun at her reputation as a borderline crazy, hard-partying train wreck, and so far, it seems everyone is laughing with her. The clip was first posted on the site late Monday afternoon and has already been viewed more than 212,000 times ... even earning (sorta) praise from noted Lohan basher Perez Hilton, who linked to the video on his site and added, "What's an out-of-work, famewhoring actress to do? Make a video!"
OK, so maybe not everyone is in on the joke.