that you had kind of crazyexperiences growing up
that were traumatic.- Yes.
- So why don'twe just start there?
- Everything startedwhen I was really, really young.
My dad was a hemophiliac.
He needed a transfusionand he was infected with HIV.
But by the time he knew,my mom was too.
And then my mom deterioratedreally fast.
She died when I was six.
My dad felt a lot of guilt from that.
He turned into a raging alcoholic.
We were basically put into foster care.
When I was old enough to,I started turning to drinking.
And then I was feeling pretty bad about myself
when I decided to join the military.
I just wanted to do something with my life.
I didn't want to drinkeverything away
and let my whole futurego down the drain.
And it was the best decisionI ever made.
I met Jamie. Jamie pulled me out of alcoholism.
- How'd you get to whereyou guys are now
where you feel like there's thissort of distance between you?
- I'm older now. I have a kid.
Like, my priorities are totally different,
and doing a lotof self-reflection.
And things that I have put offfeeling for so long
are coming out.I miss my mom.
My whole life,anybody that asks me,
I'm like, "It's fine.I'm used to it.
She's been gonefor a long time.
But now, it's like she didn'tget to see my daughter
come into the world.
She doesn't get to give meadvice now.
And I actually care.It affects me.
- Why is that creating an issuebetween you and Jamie?
- Basically,I can't talk to Jamie.
I've tried.He has a lot of issues
stemming from fightingoverseas.
So, when I try to say somethingto Jamie about it,
it goes nowhere.
And you kind of think, like,"Can I live like this forever?
Can he change? Can he open up like that?"
- So you have a needthat's not being met.
- Exactly.- So one day,
you're on the internetand what happens?
- I get a message from Titus.
He's just giving me a compliment
on my profile picture.
And from there we startedsmall talking.
And it felt really easy to talk to him.
It felt like the outletthat I've been longing for
just appeared in my phone.
And it progressed intoreally emotional conversations
all about me and it felt good.
- You did say that you guyshave tried to meet up, right?