A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila › Ep. 203

After another sleep-deprived night in a bed built for 16, the Shot at Love gang wakes to find they'll be competing in Tila Tequila's second annual Bi-Athlon!

First, the guys and girls will put on a wet suit, goggles and flippers, which they must wear for the entire race. Then, they'll have to run through an obstacle course and dive into the pool, where they must find a pearl necklace. Next, they'll have to wade through a tub of blue balls until they find a specially marked ball. Finally, they'll race across a Slip 'N Slide to the finish line. The first team to get all eight players across the finish line wins a naughty night with Tila. The other team will have to go to "loser prom."

As the race begins, the guys take an early lead when Lauryn loses her flippers in the pool and must go back for them. Dominic is halfway through the course by the time Lauryn crosses the finish line. Fortunately for the girls, Dominic's not the strongest swimmer and they gain a little bit of ground. Still, the guys continue to dominate.

As Ryan breezes through the course, all hope seems lost for a girls' victory ... until Ryan gets to the blue balls and can't find the right ball. Michelle finds hers easily, making the race neck and neck. But the guys manage to hold on to their lead, leaving Chad and Lisa to fight it out. Like Ryan, Chad fumbles around the blue balls. Lisa seizes the opportunity and brings home a victory for the lesbians.

As the prize, Tila's going to "school" the girls while dressed as a super-sexy teacher. For their first assignment, all the girls must write "I love Tila" on the chalkboard 25 times. Whoever finishes first wins a little one-on-one time with Tila. Lisa is victorious and gets to follow Tila into the teacher's lounge. Inside, Lisa reveals how stunned she was to be in the bottom two during the last elimination, and Tila likes that Lisa's finally opening up.

When Tila returns to the classroom, she decides to get really naughty. After performing a striptease, Tila thinks it's time for a little show and tell, complete with blowup dolls and spankings. Hot for teacher, indeed!

Meanwhile, the guys decide to have an old-fashioned panty raid while the girls are on their date with Tila Tequila. The boys go all-out, digging through the girls' suitcases and stringing their panties up across the bedroom while chanting "Whose house? Our house!"

Not surprisingly, the girls are less than thrilled to see what the boys have done. Kristy is especially livid, screaming at Jay to stay away from her stuff. As the argument escalates, Kristy pulls the ultimate no-no: insulting Jay's mom. Jay flips out, and Sirbrina and Bo have to step in and break up the fight.

But, really, the boys have better ways to spend their time -- attending prom with Tila Tequila! Excited about being prom queen for a night, Tila kicks things off by taking photos with each of the guys. But fun time's over when Ryan accidentally lifts up Tila's dress to reveal she's not wearing any panties!

Back in the bedroom, the girls are still reeling from the boys' invasion of privacy. Glitter collapses in an inconsolable heap, unable to deal with how mean everyone is being to each other. She thinks the guys are in Tila Tequila's house for all the wrong reasons.

As prom rages on, Tila's making out with Ryan. Too bad he kisses like "a dead frog." When she moves on to Bo, Jay and Chad start heckling him. While Scotty thinks they've crossed the line, Tila admits she's turned on by their bad boy attitudes.

The next morning, Tila invites the Shot at Love hopefuls to test out her newest competition: "The Conveyor Belch." When Tila hits the button, shot glasses full of fish sauce, hot sauce, lemon juice and all kinds of gross liquids start rolling out on a conveyor belt. Whichever team downs the most shots wins.

As people step up to take their shots, everyone starts puking all over the place. After downing a total of 68 shots, the girls stop vomiting long enough to learn that they've beaten the guys ... again.

But the competition isn't over yet. The girls will face-off in yet another gross-out contest: eating pig vaginas. (This is what the winners get?!) Whoever proves how far they'll go for A Shot at Love and finishes first wins a date with Tila Tequila and gets to select one boy to join them.

As the pig privates roll out, the lesbians get ready to chow down. Some cover their eyes, some hold their noses and almost all of them begin to barf. Eventually it comes down to Lauryn, Lisa and Sirbrina. Not surprisingly, Lisa comes through with another win and chooses Dominic to join her on her date with Tila.

On the date, Lisa jumps right into a make-out session with Tila. But Dominic pulls her away, pleading for five minutes alone with Tila. Perhaps he would have been better off staying on the sidelines, though, because he winds up insulting Tila by saying lesbianism is just "a phase."

At elimination that night, Tila drops the bombshell that four suitors will be sent packing. This time around, Lisa is given the first key. But Ryan, Dominic, V and Lauryn learn that their Shot at Love has ended.