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  1. The Osbournes begin planning their family vacation, but can't decide on a destination. Canada is vetoed because of the chilly weather. Ozzy begins to research Fiji, but Kelly wants to return to Hawaii. Sharon and Jack want to visit Hong Kong, but......  Read Full Episode Summary »

About Episode

  1. The Osbournes begin planning their family vacation, but can't decide on a destination. Canada is vetoed because of the chilly weather. Ozzy begins to research Fiji, but Kelly wants to return to Hawaii. Sharon and Jack want to visit Hong Kong, but Ozzy refuses.

    Meanwhile, Kelly is reading the script for an upcoming television pilot. Although the dialogue includes a lot of "likes" and "umms," she finds it funny and decides to audition.

    The family remains undecided about their vacation spot. They decide not to take a safari because Sharon will only stay in a five-star hotel. "I'm too old for a three-star hotel," she says.

    Kelly leaves for her television pilot audition. "Be nice, be good, be professional, learn your lines!" her mother warns her. After an anxious wait, she finds out she got the part. Since rehearsals start the following week, Kelly will not be able to go on vacation.

    Tommy suggests the island of St. Bart's, but Ozzy turns it down despite Sharon's pleas. She knows he doesn't like the Caribbean and decides they will go to Honolulu instead. "He can wear his Speedos all day," she says.

    At the dinner table, the Osbournes discuss their upcoming plans. Kelly will be filming in Vancouver while her family is in Hawaii. She and Jack discuss the story behind The Passion of the Christ.

    Kelly is upset that she is unable to go to Hawaii but Jack can. She had originally wanted to go and Jack had not. Sharon looks forward to a makeup free vacation, full of sleep and massages.

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