While recovering from his ATV accident, Ozzy's become quite grumpy. That's understandable considering he thinks he's getting fat, he has a neck brace torturing him 24/7, and he's going stir crazy from sitting in the house all day. Taking a page...... Read Full Episode Summary »
While recovering from his ATV accident, Ozzy's become quite grumpy. That's understandable considering he thinks he's getting fat, he has a neck brace torturing him 24/7, and he's going stir crazy from sitting in the house all day. Taking a page out of Kelly's book, Ozzy's been especially pouty with Sharon, who's been working through most his recovery. Ozzy's exhausted all cleaning and sleeping options so he's taken to watching infomercials. Needless to say, his situation is pretty dire. Ozzy seeks out Jack for some comfort and complains that he's getting fat. Jack responds with a not-so-sympathetic "you sound like a woman" and, confirming Jack's suspicions, Ozzy grumbles "I have a closet full of clothes I can't wear."
When asked why he doesn't go out more often, Ozzy describes himself as having a slight case of agoraphobia, which means he has a fear of open public spaces. As if an afterthought, Ozzy says "which is why I became a rock n' roll singer"…at least he still has a sense of humor about the situation. All minor cases of agoraphobia aside, Ozzy decides he desperately needs to get out of the house and go grocery shopping. Once at the store, Ozzy buys assorted fruits and veggies while "Eleanor Rigby" muzac blares in the background. After considerable debate with his personal assistant about the best dish soap, Ozzy decides to ask one of the employees. The worker runs away from Ozzy. Ozzy declares "I'd rather cut my arm off than go grocery shopping."
Ozzy returns to the homestead, continues to putter around the house, and makes himself a really unappetizing mushroom omelet. One of his employees suggests that Ozzy buy some fish to fill the empty fish tank in the kitchen. Ozzy declares, "What's the point? They'll just die." Whew, Ozzy really needs a hobby. Since cooking, pet care, and grocery shopping are all out as potential activities, Jack invites Ozzy out to the firing range with him and Ozzy jumps at the opportunity. Is there a better way for father and son to bond than with guns? It turns out that Ozzy is a dead on shot although Jack struggles a bit with the concept of a safety. The owners of the shooting range offer them a chance to play a computerized game. In this law enforcement scenario, a bad guy comes at them with a bat and Ozzy and Jack quickly waste him. After killing the virtual attacker, Ozzy screams "drop your weapon" at the dead attacker. Thankfully, Ozzy and Jack aren't part of the real police force.
With his frustration over his neck brace reaching an all time high, Ozzy calls his doctor and asks him if he has to wear the neck brace at all times. Apparently, the doctor gave him good news because a delighted Ozzy triumphantly rips off the vanquished neck brace. Things appear to be looking up in the Osbourne house.