When we last left the Osbourne family, Ozzy had taken a tumble off his ATV and was rushed to the hospital. Three weeks later, Ozzy emerges from the hospital wrapped in bandages and supported by slings but eager to return to his family in L.A....... Read Full Episode Summary »
When we last left the Osbourne family, Ozzy had taken a tumble off his ATV and was rushed to the hospital. Three weeks later, Ozzy emerges from the hospital wrapped in bandages and supported by slings but eager to return to his family in L.A. Although everyone seems a little hazy on the details of Ozzy's injuries, Jack catalogued the damages as a punctured lung, a cracked neck, and a collar bone that collapsed and pinched an artery, which had to be replaced with another artery from his leg. Ozzy, however, simply describes the pain as feeling like "some kung fu expert gave him a crack on the neck."
While Ozzy recovers in the UK, his family has been extremely busy stateside. After a two-year hiatus from making any effort to control his teeming hair, Jack finally gets a hair cut. As the hairdresser strives for the "longish-short Jim Morrison look," Jack's curls fall in a heap and swathe the floor like some sort of exceptionally long shag carpeting.
While Jack finally takes his hygiene to the next level, Sharon is faced with a dilemma. Celebrities are canceling their appearances on the Sharon Osbourne show because they feel like her content is too edgy. Sharon is at a complete loss to explain her increasing unpopularity until Jack points out that she can't ask Mandy Moore questions like "have you had sex with your boyfriend?" Inspired by Jack's insight, Sharon calls up Mandy's people and apologizes for her behavior. But it's too little too late and Sharon's producers attempt to make her show into a human interest act focusing on cooking, makeovers, and other typical daytime TV material. Vowing that she would never cover makeovers, Sharon resigns from her show.
As with everything, Sharon's resignation has its upside. Both Sharon and Ozzy are thrilled that they can spend more time together and decide that will not do anymore solo projects. From now on, the Osbourne couple comes as a duo; take it or leave it. Sharon and Ozzy's quality time together begins as soon as Ozzy jets off to L.A. But before Ozzy leaves England, he reflects that "I'm going back with eight broken ribs, a smashed collarbone, and a broken neck so I'm back with more than I came with." Um...that must be some sort of silver lining. Once Ozzy lands, Sharon, Kelly, Jack, and the herd of dogs welcome him back with banners, balloons, barks, and hugs. Ever the entrepreneur, Ozzy shares his latest plans to hold a scrap sale of his broken body parts (which could be a huge eBay item). Thankfully, the house has returned to its normal state...well, at least their standard of normal.