Apparently, they don't teach American history in the British school system because Ozzy seems a little hazy on the facts. He informs Sharon that before William Penn, America was known as "Indian Land" or something. With tennis skills comparable to...... Read Full Episode Summary »
Apparently, they don't teach American history in the British school system because Ozzy seems a little hazy on the facts. He informs Sharon that before William Penn, America was known as "Indian Land" or something. With tennis skills comparable to Ozzy's historical knowledge, Jack hits the courts for some exercise. Despite his dubious tennis talent, Jack looks good doing it. No one can deny the allure of matching mustard colored wristbands and a headband coiffing his 'fro into a lovely mushroom shape. Positively sexy.
Big doings in the Osbourne house this week. Kelly and Ozzy are jetting off to England for a Top of the Pops father-daughter duet. 32 years ago, Ozzy hit the stage solo and now he's back with Kelly for another round. This would be a very sweet father-daughter bonding moment if not for the presence of Kelly's new boyfriend mudding the situation. Ozzy likes everything about Rob except for the giant skull tattoo adorning his bald head. Yeah, it's pretty hard to miss but you think Ozzy would understand considering his extensive tattoo collection. But when it comes to his daughter, Ozzy slips into the overprotective father role with ease.
Perhaps scarier to Ozzy than his daughter dating a pierced, bald, tattooed man is the prospect of returning to England for a live show. Ozzy's been having nightmares and is worried about his voice leaving him on stage. He tells Kelly he might not be able to go to England and she immediately whines that she can't do it without him. Hmm, didn't Kelly do a solo performance of "Papa Don't Preach" at the MTV Movie Awards without Ozzy's presence? Sounds like Kelly is being a tad bit dramatic. In addition to his stage fright, Ozzy has developed a fear of the cold in England. Somewhat irrationally, Ozzy thinks that icicles will form on his butt. In explaining the cold to Kelly's boyfriend, Ozzy gravely informs him that "Eskimos die there." Apparently, England became artic tundra since the Osbournes last lived there.
Flash to England: with the presence of several dogs in the house, the countryside estate seems eerily similar to L.A. Ozzy, Kelly, and Rob (the boyfriend) have all arrived safely and are now ready to do what they do best, fight. They argue about Sean Paul, throwing food, a kid's toy, and in some situations, it's hard to tell why they are fighting. The clashes culminate with Rob getting the boot and hopping an early plane back to L.A. But all hostilities melt away when Kelly and Ozzy sing together for the British TV audience.
With his time in England almost up, Ozzy decides to jump on his ATV and roll through the countryside (not something easily done in L.A.). The joyride takes a horrible turn when Ozzy's ATV flips. A mystery man charges in and cares for a very injured Ozzy. We're left hanging as the ambulance pulls into the driveway. To be continued...