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  1. It's been a rough night for Kelly. Christina Aguilera threw darts at a picture of Kelly while hosting the EMAs. Ouch, that's a cold slap in the face. But Jack notes that Kelly did provoke Christina enough times to merit the violent display. Still......  Read Full Episode Summary »

About Episode

  1. It's been a rough night for Kelly. Christina Aguilera threw darts at a picture of Kelly while hosting the EMAs. Ouch, that's a cold slap in the face. But Jack notes that Kelly did provoke Christina enough times to merit the violent display. Still smarting from her role in Christina's target practice, Kelly shoots back that Christina needs publicity because her make-out with Madonna at the VMAs did not generate enough press. Guess these two girls won't be doing a duet anytime soon.

    Unlike Kelly, Jack is having a grand old time because he just turned 18. "Jacky Boy" receives a super sweet BMW (complete with resplendent red bow) from Sharon and Ozzy. Only one problem, as Kelly points out, Jack doesn't know how to drive. That will certainly put a kink in his plans to go to Mexico in the new car. Empowered by his new form of transportation, Jack tells Kelly he plans to get a pirate flag tattoo because he "wants to be a pirate, sail the seven seas, and rape and pillage." Kelly questions whether Jack has seen Pirates of the Caribbean too many times.

    Now that he has the car, Jack just needs to learn how to drive it. No problem, right? He and his assistant, Amanda, hop into the new SUV and spend some time practicing parallel parking. Well, the practice session isn't going so well and it's capped off when Jack backs into a parked car. The physical damage is minimal but Jack's confidence has to be hurting going into his driving test.

    When did driving become so hard? Jack has to endure a gauntlet of challenges in order to get that license--the eye test, written exam, questions on the functions of his car and the proper hand signals, and (finally) the actual driving practical. Whew! Things don't get too tricky until Jack soaks his instructor with windshield wiper fluid and can't remember his hand signals. He has some minor mistakes like turning right when his instructor asks him to get in the left lane. Otherwise, Jack does a first-rate job (especially, considering his recent accident) and he passes! The only downer is his heap of hair won't fit into the picture on his license. Bummer.

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