1. Hey stupid kids, it's Larry. You know, ever since I was a young boy on the mean streets of New York City, making a living shining shoes with spit and also just spitting all over the place for no reason, I dreamed of opening cans. Why, I would open cans of beets, cans of creamed corn, cans of sardines, and even cans of sauerkraut! Well I'm here to say I have finally got my wish. Thanks to the miracles of modern science, I have been transformed into a can opener! Now I never have to borrow......  Read Full Bio »

Watch Video

  1. Andy accidentally walks in on Larry's private moment

    Posted

  2. Andy plays darts with Rivka and Larry, plus chap stick

    Posted

  3. Andy meets a touching end after his favorite hobby, touching, is outlawed

    Posted

Full Biography

  1. Hey stupid kids, it's Larry. You know, ever since I was a young boy on the mean streets of New York City, making a living shining shoes with spit and also just spitting all over the place for no reason, I dreamed of opening cans. Why, I would open cans of beets, cans of creamed corn, cans of sardines, and even cans of sauerkraut! Well I'm here to say I have finally got my wish. Thanks to the miracles of modern science, I have been transformed into a can opener! Now I never have to borrow Andy's again! Well, I have to go back in the drawer now. My roommate is a turkey baster. He doesn't say much, but he keeps the drawer really clean. Bye!

Advertisement