— by Ben Cosgrove By now, even the most dedicated film fanatics on the planet have likely seen and heard more than they ever wanted to about the upcoming crop of summer movies. Honestly — what else is there to say that hasn't already been said by every magazine, newspaper and Web site about "Herbie," "Batman," "Lords of Dogtown," "War of the Worlds" and the rest of the summer's biggest offerings? And still, a gnawing sensation remains: a sense that no one has yet pierced through to the very essence of what these movies are about. Until now, that is. Because here, in a mere 17 syllables apiece, is everything you truly need to know about every movie that matters in the coming three months — our first-ever (and perhaps last-ever — who knows?) Summer Movie Haiku Preview. Prepare to be enlightened … in a hurry. "The Longest Yard" (May 27) Prison football — hike! If crushed-groin jokes make you laugh, You'll be in heaven. See behind-the-scenes clips and interviews with the film's stars on MTV Overdrive. "Madagascar" (May 27) Cute talking critters Might feel like an old-school trick. So what? They still kill. "Cinderella Man" (June 3) Sure, the title's weak, But Russell in boxing trunks? This we have to see. "Lords of Dogtown" (June 3) Drop into the pool. Scrape skin. Wrench ankles. Look cool. That's right — Z Boys rule. Watch exclusive behind-the-scene clips on MTV Overdrive, including stunts, wipeouts, the making of half-pipe legends and mayhem by the sea. "Rock School" (June 3) Drums, bass, guitar, vox — Put it all together, kids, And the world is yours. "The Honeymooners" (June 10) Right in the kisser! Cedric playing Ralph Kramden — Gleason would be proud. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (June 10) Beautiful people Hired to kill each other — Leave a pretty corpse. "Batman Begins" (June 15) Bruce Wayne's life's been hard, And now he's really pissed off. Can a hot chick help? "Herbie: Fully Loaded" (June 22) Remember, Herbie, NASCAR has only two rules: Stand on it; turn left. "War of the Worlds" (June 29) They come from out there. They don't like us; not sure why. Hey, Tom: little help? "The Fantastic Four" (July 8) Hey there! Torch, Thing, Stretch! Yeah, sure, of course we like you — But we love Doc Doom. "Murderball" (July 8) Don't cry for these guys Just because they're in wheelchairs. They will kick your ass. "Hustle & Flow" (July 13) From pimp to rapper — It's the American Dream With a Memphis beat. "Charlie & the Chocolate Factory" (July 15) The wrapper peels back. There! See it? A glimpse of gold. Lucky little brats. "The Wedding Crashers" (July 15) Two guys want to score. So they hit on the bridesmaids. Doesn't everyone? "The Island" (July 22) "Harvested beings." Creepy, yes — but sexy, too: Scarlett and Ewan. "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" (August 12) What do we have here? Subtle insights? Wry humor? Nah — good fart jokes, though. "Four Brothers" (August 12) Two are black, two white. Their foster mom was murdered. Stay out of their way. "Red Eye" (August 19) You get on the plane. A psycho sits next to you. Got a parachute? Visit Movies on MTV.com for Hollywood, news, interviews, trailers and more. Check out The MTV Movie Shop for all your DVD needs.
	Photos: Paramount Pictures