Follow these rules to avoid a food-induced faux pas in Cancun. And if you get stuck with a nasty attack of gas, find out how to drop the stink bombs and get away free as a bird.
1. Hold the H20
One of the biggest Spring Break health problems is drinking water contaminated by fecal matter (gross but true), which can in turn cause a nasty case of Montezuma's Revenge, otherwise known as traveler's diarrhea. Staying away from tap water isn't enough. Avoid things that could be awash in contaminated water, like ice, fresh fruit rinsed in unpurified water, uncooked food and un-refrigerated seafood. But between the refried beans and booze, expect to let out a few trouser coughs during Spring Break. But where you drop the bombs can make all the difference in the world.
2. Crowded Spaces
The best way to drop one on the DL is amongst a group. Join a gaggle of Spring Breakers, like at a crowded area of a bar. Position yourself square in the middle of the crew and let it rip. Because gas permeates from the center of the circle, no one will know you're the culprit. Wait a few moments and casually leave the circle, leaving the others to wonder.
3. Wash It Away
If you're fulminating with farts, wait 'til you immerse your agitated ass in water to release 'em. The best place is a Jacuzzi, because your gas bubbles will look like they came from the jets and not from your butt. Don't try it in a pool, the water is too smooth to disguise booty bombs. Ocean water is fine--you can always blame the bubble on a jellyfish.
4. Conceal, Conceal, Conceal
Call it camouflagin' the fart or disguising the dust bunny, but whatever you do, mask the fart with other odors at all costs. Leaking loose gas near a cigarette puffer is a great idea. Cigarette smoke will drown out your butt smoke almost completely. Carry cologne or perfume spritzers and right before you blow your beans, blow some of the scented steam in the air. By the time you unload, your personal space will smell more like sandalwood than a stale taco.
