Check out these outtakes from Blair and Steve's recap special:
Dude, what's my line?
Blair and Steve expound upon the virtues of Jisela's ass.
Blair and Steve: partners in crime and partners in love?
Steve is oh-so-eloquent.
Blair: The Travelogue returns! Well, sort of a Travelogue…we didn't get to do any traveling since we weren't "chosen" to be on this show.
Steve: Yeah, but we can make fun of those who were.
Steve: It's nice to see some familiar faces back…like Stephen.
Blair: Who, I think (and this is one man's opinion), is dealing with some "sexuality" issues.
Steve: I was hoping that Stephen would last long enough so he could showcase his skills in the wrestling ring.
Blair: Yeah, we already know he can beat a girl--I was hoping that he would wrestle a guy to see if he got "turned on" or not.
Steve: I'm very impressed how well Stephen has come out ahead in the Fantasy Points. It's impressive how he's doing anything to get a head…hiding in closets and coming out of doors.
Blair: That was the funniest when he was climbing up the ropes saying, "Oh, f*** my nuts!"
Steve: Was that an explanation or a demand?
Blair: As he said that, he gazed lovingly at the burly, Mexican pool boy working at the "beautiful Cabo San Lucas Resort."
Steve: Hey, Stephen's negative attitude combined with Coral's negative energy equals…
Blair: ...positive points for the Walla Walla Weasels! (Honestly…we didn't really think that was too funny, but we needed a transition from a Mexican Pool Boy to Coral and that's the only thing we could think of.) I especially liked the Coral incident when she dressed herself in a nice shawl and posed on the cliff. Who stands on a cliff?
Steve: That was just an invitation to Stephen to push her off!
Steve: Belou is like a horse who runs well in the rain…she's a good mudder.
Blair: I just find it ironic that if you take out the "B-e-l-o-u" in "Belou" and put in a "S-a-t-a-n" it spells Satan. How ironic is that?
Steve: I have to give her some props though for the mullet, though.
Blair: The kids call it "rockin' the mullet."
Steve: That has to be useful when the baby is riding on Belou's back. It's like a mane--the baby can hold on to it. "Put a bit in my mouth, yo!" Hey Blair, who's Belou's favorite cellist?
Blair: Uh…I dunno.
Steve: Yo Yo Ma!
Blair: No one is going to get that, dude. But somewhere in the world, Yanni is laughing his balls off.
Steve: We have to talk about our girl, Jisela.
Blair: We need a whole section for that! The reason she did so well skydiving in the first episode is because she put her ass out the door and let gravity take over.
Steve: It's understandable that Jisela didn't do too well in the climbing ropes competition…because that involved ropes…and climbing.
Blair: And it was understandable that she didn't do well in the basketball competition…
Steve: Because it required exertion, concentration, competitive drive and effort.
Blair: She let go of the ball the second she left the platform! If the ball was a cell phone, she definitely could have held onto it.
Steve: Maybe if the basket was Chadwick's head, she would have done better. We should give Jisela an award for being kicked off of two shows. She's made Real World/Road Rules history. What should be her prize?
Blair: Chadwick bound and gagged in a dark room with no witnesses and an assortment of blunt objects…such as Nokia cell phones. Oh, and four Puerto Rican girls with bad attitudes on a bad hair day. In other words, pissed off Puerto Ricans.
Steve: Congratulations to Flora for doing a wonderful impression of a mime.
Blair: No, a dead-on impression of Steve…randomly showing up in episodes 3 and 6 and saying one sentence in episode 6.
Steve: And congratulations Mike (Miami) for giving props to guys like me who like to do absolutely nothing after their show except sit around, drink beer and gain weight.
Blair: To Mike (Back to New York), I just wanted to say "hi" and that the Rock is waiting on residuals for totally biting off his character.
Steve: And in an upcoming episode there will probably be a wrestling match (it's in the opening credits). If you don't bench him that week, it will be a big Miztake. Remember the shellacking he got in Morocco?
Blair: What about Holly and Chadwick?
Steve: His name is Chadwick.
Blair: Don't get me started. I think it's lame that they broke up the entire cast by being married. They didn't look out for their teammates! They were just looking out for themselves, not Road Rules as a whole.
Steve: Belou's baby should be considered a cast member on the Fantasy Game…she/he would rack up tons of points for crying/nudity/bodily functions! What sex is her baby?
Blair: Satan's spawn is unisex . Knowing Belou, she'll track me down and shiv me in the shower after she reads this.
Steve: I don't think Belou can read.
Blair: She can only read things that are written in blood. Apparently she drank somebody's urine. It's not confirmed, but that's the rumor. Does she get Fantasy Points for that? How many points is it worth if you drink someone else's bodily function?
Steve: I love Mike to death, but why do girls like him? It baffles me!
Blair: One word, three syllables: alcohol and low self-esteem.
Steve: So, what what's going to happen during the rest of the season?
Blair: I have a feeling someone will be voted off…someone will win some money…and there will be lots of blatant product placement.
Steve: Probably lots more fighting, crying too…just a guess.
Blair: Steve, do you have any advice for the fantasy players?
Steve: Uh, most of the fighters have been voted off…but I think Holly has a few good cries left in her.
Blair: Mama Coral is always good for a little bit of drama. Damn, her breasts are big. Steve?
Blair: Steve...are you still there?
Steve: Oh! Sorry…I'm still thinking about Coral's breasts.
Blair: Way to go, beautiful mind. Dude, this column sure is long…and was really hard to write.
Steve: Don't tell Stephen that.