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Maggie
 Pet Photos
The Poop: This Japanese Chin is a poor man's version of Minnie, lapping up any leftover love that spills off of her highness. She's the canine Brian Dunkleman, and that lack of respect may have driven her to drugs.
Sharon's Diagnosis: "Maggie I call heroin chic."
Our Diagnosis: Maggie is a blank slate upon which the Osbournes can craft a diva gone good. What she needs, in addition to a week at Betty Ford, is quality time with Sharon, locked up in a room watching every Madonna video and televised concert made to date as she learns how to "Express Yourself." Paper her kennel with Vogue, give her not kibbles but Cartier. Don't go barbaric, go Burberry. A rhinestone-studded collar here, a lavender scented pooch pad there, and the next thing you know, she'll be bouncing around the house like a sweet Reese Witherspoon yin to Minnie's Dr. Evil yang.
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