Q: Why did you choose University at Buffalo?
A: It seemed like a good place to sew my oh-so wild oats.
Q: Why did you decide to pledge a fraternity? And why did you choose Sigma Chi Omega?
A: Meet some good friends…shyeah right.
Q: What is the best/worst thing about Buffalo?
A: Best: I'll get back to you on that one.
Worst: My genitals shrink up inside my body every time I go outside to class. Also, puking outside in front of the house is bad 'cause the vomit freezes to your lips and chicks don't dig that.
Q: Describe this semester/pledge period in 3 words.
A: Nipply, demented, shizzle
Q: Describe the craziest frat party that you have been to so far.
A: Well, I was at this party where there was this donkey, a ladder, a balloon and ten girls in bathing suits. Unfortunately, I spent the night face down in the bathroom on the soothingly cool tiles so I'm not sure what all that was about.
Q: What CDs are you listening to right now. What is your all-time favorite CD?
A: Saves the Day
Journey, Greatest Hits, Kook and the Gang, Busta Poindexter Rhymes, The Who Gives a Damn
Q: What do you find attractive? What turns you on?
A: Give me a back yard with junk in da trunk with a rear-view parking area to park a jeep in. Roll it up to my bumper, baby.
Q: Describe the worst date you've ever been on.
A: With my 7th grade teacher, Mrs. Milch. That didn't turn out so well.
Q: Which celeb would you most want to make out with?
A: Avril Lavigne. We hit it last night.
Q: Which sorority has the hottest girls? Who's the hottest girl in Delta Xi Omega?
A: Delta Xi Omega rules!
Q: What was your first kiss like, when was it and who was it with?
A: My cousin. It was okay. But, she cried and kneed my in the gazones.
Q: What have you learned during this semester? What would you do differently if you could do it over?
A: Need to study, study, study.
Q: Which night sounds like more fun: Hanging out with a hot girl or drinking with your guy friends?
A: Neither. The best night is to rent my favorite movie, Gone with Flounder's Wind, and feed popcorn to myself.
Q: Where's the best place to hang out in Buffalo?
A: My hizouse, fashizzle.
Q: Who is the messiest pledge/brother? Who's the neat freak?
A: I am all of the above. I am omnipotent.
Q: What is the grossest thing you've witnessed in the pledge house/frat house?
A: A few days ago, I walked into the bathroom and there was a live seal in the tub and Tim was standing over him with a club. It was gross.
Q: Complete the following sentences:
A: Fraternity guys are cute and cuddly.
Sorority girls are demented and belong in a group home.
Q: If you were president of Sigma Chi Omega, what would you do?
A: Carve my face into the side of Mount Buffalo.
Q: Which pledge/brother is most likely to end up in jail?
Q: What do you think about Delta Xi Omega? (Be honest!)
A: They're all hot, horny, wild and ready for Dan THE MAN!