Hi, I'm Penny Lane and I've recently returned from yet another disappointing journey to so-called "exotic" lands where the "colorful" poor are routinely exploited in the service of the tourism industry. My time setting up a coconut-husk sandal cooperative was fruitful, although I didn't want to impose my imperialist idea of proper foot measurement and now I'm stuck with a whole lot of size twos. Yet I still believe that cross-cultural exchange is our best hope for understanding the world around us and overwhelming the oppression machine that is Euro-Caucaso-Phallocentric Capitalism. (And these days, I'm not too thrilled with Extremo-Fundamentalist-Phallocentric Autocracy either.) So please turn your attention to this month's travel-themed installment of "The Definitive Daria." Too bad you have to support the wasteful, environment-fouling, worker-blinding planned obsolescence of the computer industry in order to do so.

P.S.: Does anyone know a source for American flags made out of 100 percent hemp-based fiber?