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Take the Schlock quiz and prove your knowledge.
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Question 1: At "Sunday Brunch At the Psycho Ward," what dish do they serve? |
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a. Scrambled brains |
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b. Fish and birds baked in a pie |
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c. Coo Coo Puffs |
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Question 2: In "The Immaculate Confection," a vision of Christ appears in what miraculous snack food ? |
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a. A half-eaten candy bar |
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b. A pious praline |
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c. A mini-marshmallow |
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Question 3: In "The Declaration of In My Pants," which historic figure keeps a saucy journal? |
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a. Ben Franklin |
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b. Thomas Jefferson |
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c. G. Gordon Liddy |
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Question 4: What does the jilted lover steal from "The One-Legged Lothario?" |
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a. His wheelchair |
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b. His prosthesis |
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c. His book deal |
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Question 5: Who can make you moan their name if they boink you in heaven? |
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a. "Angels with Dirty Thoughts on their Minds" |
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b. "Ghost Hookers in the Sky" |
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c. "Harpies with Harps" |
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Question 6: According to "Ehh, What's That, Doc?," what is the result of eating too many carrots? |
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a. It can make your head grow leaves. |
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b. Some guy named Elmer Fudd starts following you around. |
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c. Your feet turn lucky. |
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Question 7: What do "G-String Grandmas" do? |
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a. Bake cookies by day and heat up at night. |
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b. Hobble by day and gyrate at night. |
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c. Put the "social" in Social Security. |
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Question 8: Which of the following deceased characters do not appear on "Sick, Sad World?" |
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a. Undead Deadbeat Dads |
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b. The Jaywalking Dead |
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c. Freeloading Familial Phantoms |
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Question 9: As revealed on "Sick, Sad World," what disgusting habit do fish have? |
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a. They sneeze without covering their gills. |
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b. They gulp their plankton. |
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c. They use our oceans as their own private toilets. |
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Question 10: . In "Sniffing For Love," what body part is said to have the key to your sexual prowess? |
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a. Your foot. |
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b. Your armpit. |
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c. Your funny bone. |
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Question 11: In "The Savior Went Down to Georgia," what don't you have to be a wise man to figure out? |
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a. "Nativities mean Christmas and Christmas means revenue." |
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b. "It's a wise man who waits for January markdowns." |
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c. "The markup is minimal on myrhh." |
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Question 12: Who gets "tanked in a tutu?" |
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a. Cross-dressing soldiers. |
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b. Alcoholic Ballerinas. |
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c. Well-dressed aquarium workers. |
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Question 13: "In Cool Breeze on the Interstate," who might be wearing nothing but a smile? |
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a. The Naturalist Motorist. |
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b. Your toll collector. |
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c. That trucker with the "big rig." |
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Question 14: In "Rabid Rodent Ripoffs," how do the bats sneak into your neighborhood? |
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a. Disguised as cute flying squirrels. |
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b. Disguised as very large dragonflies. |
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c. Disguised as UPS guys with wings. |
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Question 15: "The Polygamous Hippopotamus" needs more than one what? |
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a. Mammoth mate. |
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b. Three-ton hubby. |
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c. Corpulent courtship. |
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Question 16: What dangerous vegetation should you watch out for? |
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a. Raging Roses. |
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b. Violent Violets. |
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c. Homicidal Houseplants. |
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Question 17: Who creates "Umbilical Cord Sculpture?" |
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a. An avant-garde obstetrician. |
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b. A dadaist doc. |
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c. A modernist midwife. |
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Question 18: What city is famous for its mopey millionaires? |
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a. Malibu. |
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b. Monaco. |
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c. Milwaukee. |
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Question 19: What animals might surf the Internet and corrupt our kids? |
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a. Fleas who IRC. |
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b. Chimpanzees in chat rooms. |
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c. Newts in newsgroups. |
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Question 20: What might be having sex in your drinking water? |
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a. Microbes. |
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b. Playful Paramecium. |
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c. Sensuous Sea Monkeys. |
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