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chapter two
The human need to love and be loved is a wonderful thing. Explore this month's subject of romance by linking to the features below.
hey babe, wanna articulate
Upchuck's Lines that Lead to L'Amour
it takes two to tangle
Dysfunctional Duos of Daria
love is a way too many splendored thing
An Almanac of Quinn Admirers
guy vs. guy
The Tom/Trent Debate
the definitive daria:
guy vs. guy
  Defending Trent: Daria Fan Donald Jakov
Defending Tom: Daria Fan Eula Lation
  TALENT
Trent is extremely talented as both a musician and lyricist. The producers are jealous of this talent, which is why they keep giving him such stupid lyrics and lame chord changes to play.
Although few people realize that Tom writes inspiring epic poetry, it is obviously alluded to in the line "Hey!" from "Dye, Dye, My Darling." Also, there was a certain way he glanced down at his cargo pants in the uncut version of "Is It Fall Yet?" that clearly indicated that he not only designed the pants, he sewed them himself. Incidentally, don't bother looking for this scene in the pathetic version of IIFY the evil scum at MTV allow on the air. I have it on virgin Swiss videotape (best in the world), sealed for safekeeping in my family mausoleum. It was worth exhuming Grandma, believe me.
  LOOKS
We all know that Trent is a hottie, which is an idea I'm sure the producers got from reading my mind. Oh, they may deny it, but they also say they never read fan fic, and we all know they're lying--look how many episodes they set in the high school and Daria's house, just like our stories!
Tom has clean-cut good looks, which are far superior to Trent's scrawny physique and messy hair. I'm sure Tom's design was inspired by a crude picture I drew of Daria and Marilyn Manson in a gondola. They changed his look a little so I wouldn't sue them.
  THE FUTURE
Trent's recent eyebrow flickers clearly show that he's moving in a direction of more maturity and responsibility, and given the rigid timeline of two "real" years equaling 51 and 1/3 "Lawndale" weeks, as casually mentioned by one of the producers in a fanzine and then signed into law by President Bush, I think-- nay, I know--that wedding bells are in the offing for Trent and Daria in the "real" year 2035. I realize the show will not be on the air then, but I am currently circulating an exquisitely worded angry petition demanding that MTV produce a 3D CGI movie to tie up the loose ends. Eight signatures and counting!
Tom and Daria have dated, and I like happy endings. Therefore, Tom and Daria will get married. Tom is the only character on the show whose Season One personality has not been cynically betrayed by the producers in their stampede to bow and scrape to the great god Mammon, and that's only because he didn't show up until Season Three. So it's clear to me that the plan is for him to marry Daria and then administer electroshock therapy until she reverts to the "good" Daria of Episode 103, Act Three (see my essay "The First Two Acts of Episode 103 are Off Canon"), insulting and manipulating everyone while steadfastly refusing to budge an iota from her 16-year-old level of maturity. Anything else would be a complete sell-out! And if you evil drones of dark overlord MTV think for one second you can pull that on the fans, listen up and listen well: Can I have a job?

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