If you fall smack in the center of the Venn diagram combining the already very specific categories of Talking Teddy Bear Movies and Western Satire Movies, and weren't forever put off by Seth MacFarlane's turn as Oscar host in 2012, congratulations! Hollywood made you a movie!

The first red-band trailer for "A Million Ways to Die in the West," written, directed and starring "Family Guy" guy MacFarlane, is here, and it's packed with quick jokes and quick-splattering blood.

MacFarlane, whom we last caught on the big screen as 2012's titular "Ted," plays a wimpy farmer who posits that "the American West is a terrible place in time. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you." And from what we see in the trailer, that pretty much holds true, whether it be death by splinter, an ice block toppling onto a man's cranium or a simple trip to the fair turning into a gunfight. The usual.

MacFarlane and a gunslinger's wife (Charlize Theron) travel around trying to win hearts, take ultra-potent shots and prove toughness by way of sharpshooting, all the while trying not to die in one of the gruesome and hilarious ways showcased in the trailer. Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman, Liam Neeson and Neil Patrick Harris also star.

The trailer shows roughly a dozen ways to die, so you'll have to sit tight until the movie is released on May 30 to learn about the other 999,988 ways to die in the West.