Nothing gets the masses a-frothin' like a fight over which celebrity male is the cream of the Hollywood crop. First, somebody declared Adam Levine the sexiest man alive. Then, someone else was all, "Nope! Nuh-uh!" and declared the voting re-opened. And finally, it was resolved that the title should go to Tom Hiddleston!
But we couldn't help sparing a thought for all the guys who not only weren't named Sexiest Man Alive, but whose very existence is so under-the-radar that nobody even threw their names into the ring to begin with. So with warmest congrats to the Hemsworths, the Timberlakes, the Fassbenders, and yes, the Hiddlestons, we're going to switch it up now with a list of the most criminally unappreciated hotties of 2013.
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Pennie appeared in a "Revenge" guest spot just long enough for us to leap out of our chairs and run flailing at the television in a hysterical lust-induced fugue state... And then vanished back into obscurity before we could ask him where he had been all our lives. Still, his hotness lingers on.
Forget weepy Rick, or greasy Daryl, or hammer-happy Tyreese. We just want a few quality minutes of alone time with Glenn in the guard tower, mmmkay?
Despite playing the titular role in "Romeo & Juliet," and despite being blessed with the world's most magnetically sensual mouth, Booth still doesn't set off a Hottie Alarm every time he goes out in public. Everyone, check the batteries in your Hottie Alarm and report back to us.
With his angular jaw and piercing eyes, Abel has been a delectable addition to the ensemble casts of book-turned-movie adaptations like "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters" and "The Host." But unlike some other actors who've gone on from YA franchises to become universal lust objects (*cough*Pattinson*cough*), he has yet to inspire panting legions of fans to airbrush his face onto a body pillow.
Tom Mison This is almost certainly Tom Mison's last year to be counted as "underrated", now that the entire world is lusting after him in the role of the befuddled, time-traveling Ichabod Crane on Fox's "Sleepy Hollow." But since he spent most of 2013 in relative obscurity, we'll put him on this list if only to relish the fact that he's leaving it so soon. So long, Tom, and thanks for all the "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen."
Charles Michael Davis As long as he keeps on showing up to work looking like this, Davis will probably transition from "underrated" to "much-appreciated" by the time we're writing this list in 2014. But in the meantime, the man who plays Marcel on The CW's "The Originals" has the body of a demi-god, the grace of a cat, and the face of a sex panther. Meow.
Move over, Jacob Black: the Sexiest Werewolf Alive mantle has been claimed by the wandering gypsy wolfman of "Hemlock Grove." Though, people may not realize it yet, possibly because they're all still too distracted/traumatized by that scene in which a wolf
When "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" hit theaters over the summer, Jamie Campbell Bower and his leather pants were the obvious star of the show. Godfrey Gao was overlooked as some weirdo warlock in eyeliner, but this was a mistake, and the shame is ours. Also, yours. How could you.
Despite being voted the number one sexiest citizen in his native Denmark, Mads Mikkelsen is best known stateside for being a bad, bad man. Here, he's either the new and improved face of Hannibal Lecter; or the guy who inflicted unspeakable abuse on a nude James Bond in "Casino Royale". Which is to say, it's okay if you never noticed until just now that he's kind of a hottie. It's also okay if, now that you have noticed, you feel uncomfortably titillated every time you see a length of knotted rope.
Those who watch "Grey's Anatomy" know all about Williams's drool-worthy qualities, but he still hasn't snagged the romantic lead that would catapult him to A-list Superstar Hottie levels. Get on that, Hollywood: this face ain't gonna appreciate itself.