Lady Gaga's closet probably looks like a costume warehouse on a Hollywood movie lot. Sure, there might be a little black dress in it, but if there is, it probably hangs next to hot pants made out of yak hair, a fruit roll-up tankini and an oversized silver jacket with TVs in the lapels.
We haven't seen those outfits yet, but in the video for the title track from Gaga's #1 debuting ARTPOP, Gaga busts out almost all the insane looks she's sported so far in promoting her album, plus some new ones that will blow your mind.
"This album is a celebration, my pain exploding in electronic music," Gaga says in voice-over before the song comes in. "It's heavy but after I listen to it I feel happy again, I feel lighter."
In the first glimpse we get of the singer, she's doing a slow catwalk stroll and waving her hand like royalty in her signature sky-high boots and what looks like a cross between lingerie and a wedding dress. She then flips through a succession of completely different styles — from long brown hair caked with clods of shrubbery and dirt on her shoulders to a flowing yellow piece of drapery balanced on her head (and nothing else) and a black cape (again naked underneath) and futuristic eyeglasses with strips of curved metal sprouting from the lenses.
You know, her Sunday sitting-around-the-house-in-sweats ensemble.
One thing is clear: Gaga loves to pull giant raincoats over her head, especially when it's not raining. And, as we already knew, she has no problem getting naked, such as the bit where she stands with her arms in the air proudly modeling nothing but clumps of dirt over her private parts.
At other points, she writhes around on the floor in white bra and thong, rocks super-long dreadlocks and dances near a giant circuit board and revives those super-creepy crooked metal teeth, leather hat and giant coat from the "Dope" cover art and her signature ARTPOP white face shields.
By the end of the Inez and Vinoodh-directed clip, Gaga's mostly just crying and staring longingly into the camera while cycling through a dozen looks, including one where she has a blinking light bulb in her mouth.
Seriously, we have to see her closet sometime.