"American Idol" season 10 has drawn to a close, and while Scotty McCreery was still digesting all that confetti he ate on Wednesday night, we here at MTV News were working around the clock to bring you news from the big finale, including Thursday's "Idol Party Live" (streaming live right here on MTV.com at 12 p.m. ET) and "Idol" in 60 Seconds, the script of which you can peruse below while you watch the video:
On Tuesday night, Fox televised a Southern junior high school talent show. Yes, season 10 came down to Scotty McCreery and his smirk versus Lauren Alaina and her doctor. There were songs about teenage love, and moms, and the civil war and ... I'm so sorry, guys, I'm trying, but me and country music go together like Haley Reinhart and pants.
And after every guest star from stage and screen and total f---ing catastrophe [shot of "Spider-man"] finished their cameo, Ryan Seacrest did this. [Montage of Seacrest plugging all the guest stars' projects.]
Wow, if "Idol" did this good a job promoting their own artists, Lee DeWyze might be selling records.
Unless you were a fan of James Durbin's armpits, the night was really all about the big winner, Scotty, and runner-up Lauren, the two youngest "Idol" finalists ever, so producers made this finale especially family-friendly.
[Gaga gets busy with a dancer.] [J.Lo shakes her booty.] [Beyoncé sings, "Let's make love! Make love!"]
Or not. But give "Idol" some credit for still trying to kickstart David Archuleta's puberty.
Don't miss a special edition of "Idol Party Live" Thursday at noon on MTV.com for analysis, finale red-carpet coverage and the last "Idol in 60 Seconds" of season 10. Get in the conversation by tweeting with the hashtag #idolparty! In the meantime, get your "Idol" fix on MTV News' "American Idol" page, where you'll find all the latest news, interviews and opinions.