It was Motown Week on "American Idol X: The Judges Give Good Reaction Shots," and almost everyone brought their A-game.
(Check out Jim's speedy take on the week's "Idol" craziness in the embedded video below.)
"Tyler Perry Presents" Jacob Lusk stole the show by performing both the male and female parts of a famous Motown duet. Werk! Meanwhile, Naima Adedapo imagined a strange world where everyone is "Dancing [African] in the Street." And wouldn't you know it? Put a guitar in Paul McDonald's hands and the swashbuckling leprechaun is immediately replaced by a legitimate frontman. Scotty McCreery charmingly crooned "For Once in My Life" as a country shuffle. Pia sang a Motown song that Streisand made a hit. Duh.
Lauren's and Thia's performances were solid, if uninspired. Perhaps that will inspire the hairstylists to part their hair on the opposite side so we can continue to see their pretty young faces as they nervously turn to the band leader for cues.
Stefano Langone's theatrical "Hello" was a disappointment, but not nearly as disastrous as his mother's home-cooked penne dish, which gave audience member Gordon Ramsey an intense case of Douche Mouth.
The night ended with James Durbin's Running Man-enhanced "Living for the City." His vocals were lovely. His dancing was ... Let's just say it's a good thing Stevie Wonder couldn't see it. On Thursday night's results show, Marc Anthony auditioned to be a new judge backstage after curing all of the contestants' tone-deaf-itis with the magic of in-ear technology. Education has never been so sweaty!
Thanks to "Idol" producers, there were surprises at every corner. Surprise! Stevie Wonder was in the house. (His lyric retention, however, was not.)
Surprise! "Idol" got homoerotic with an extended montage of two men wrestling.
Surprise! Apparently, Jennifer Hudson won her season of "Idol," according to Ryan "Revisionist History" Seacrest. Surprise! Hulk Hogan showed up to prove to America that it is possible to be tanner and blonder than Ryan Seacrest. (Also, he has the ability to turn grown men into babbling toddlers.) Surprise! Haley Reinhart proved that if you wear short shorts that reveal part of your bottom, you will avoid the bottom three! Surprise! Casey Abrams was eliminated, then saved by the benevolent judges. His reaction: dropping the f-bomb and pretending to need medical attention.
This is "American Idol X: Ratings by Any Means Necessary."
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