On Thursday, after two weeks of wrangling, protesting and explaining, 30 Seconds to Mars finally unveiled the "full-length explicit director's cut" (as frontman Jared Leto put it) of their epic "Hurricane" video, which, oddly enough, ended up being two seconds shorter than the version that premiered on MTV.com last month.
Obviously, that's not the only difference between the two videos — we bet you can guess which one features shots of nipple clamps — so we've decided to watch both side by side and take note of all the uncensored action. That includes all the shenanigans you'd probably expect (Leather! Breasts! A woman dressed as a patent-leather horse!) and some you might not (like the mysteriously disappearing camera at Leto's bedside).
So here's a breakdown of all the naughtiness in the uncensored version, compiled after repeated viewings and complete with time codes for your viewing pleasure. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got to go take a long, long shower.
0:55: Shot of a woman handcuffed to a chair.
1:08: Silhouette of same woman, standing, hands cuffed behind her back.
1:21: Handcuffs hanging on what appears to be a towel rack, shot of woman on all fours, ball gag in mouth
1:41: Leto lying in bed, Fujifilm Instax mini 7 camera (seen at the 1:55 mark of the MTV.com version of the video) is absent from his bedside table.
2:25: Split-second shot of woman throwing her head back in agony, ecstasy, or, more probably, both.
3:44: A man wearing a leather hood leads a woman in a patent-leather "horse" getup with a bullwhip. This shot is censored in the MTV.com version of the clip.
6:08: A quick montage of shots: a telephone, a roach scurrying, a pair of handcuffs dangling off a urinal, a woman spitting in another woman's mouth. Oddly enough, only the shot of the handcuffs is censored in the MTV version.
7:08: A pair of women wearing tassles on their breasts, bereft of the red bar used in the MTV version. Also, there is a quick scene of a woman stuffing a vibrator in another woman's mouth — cut from the edited version.
9:20: The infamous shot of a woman's finger "running over other woman's bottom in g-string" makes an appearance.
9:23: Shot of woman grabbing her breasts.
9:33: Quick shot of various S&M gear — masks, gloves, ball gag — laid out on bed is cut into the video.
9:53: Another quick (almost subliminal) message is inserted: "Find the Argus Apocraphex." Its meaning isn't exactly clear, but 30 STM have been working the phrase into their various projects for years now.
9:59: Shannon Leto stumbles across a pair of extremely nude women on the street. Not surprisingly, in the edited version, this shot is replaced with one of the band's "Triad" symbol.
10:06: The uncensored scene of a woman with a pair of feather fans, wearing only pasties on her nipples, is shown.
11:06: A montage of naughtiness: the same shot of the woman on all fours, Leto biting a woman and squeezing her breasts (which is censored in the MTV version), a woman spitting in another woman's mouth (also censored), a shot of a woman in chains lying on a bed, followed by an establishing shot of the character "Rosewood" seated at a desk. Strangely, in the MTV version of the clip, the shot of the handcuffs dangling from the urinal — which was earlier cut — is inserted in place of the woman on all fours.
11:27: Even more uncensored naughtiness, including scenes of simulated sex between two women.
11:44: The woman with the feather fans appears once again.
11:54: An exterior shot of two topless women, seen through windows. In the MTV version, black bars are subtly placed across the windows to obscure her chest.
11:56: Rosewood exposes his (her?) breasts. This, obviously, is censored in the MTV version.
12:13: During Leto's climactic fight scene, images of women in S&M gear and nipple clamps are quickly shown. The majority of these also appear in the "censored" version, including images that were previously cut, like the man leading the woman dressed as a horse, and a woman stuffing a vibrator in another woman's mouth.
12:33: An extended, and unedited, montage of the video's key scenes is shown. Nudity galore.