Not wanting to miss out on the latest in hip-hop accessories, Diddy has grabbed himself a rock act too. He's gone and joined the Arctic Monkeys.
Diddy won't be collaborating with the Brit rockers on any tracks; no, he's just made himself an honorary member of their entourage.
In a new YouTube clip, Monkeys drummer Matt Helders heads to Diddy's Miami mansion to confront the rapper/producer about the rather, uh, undeniable similarities between a pair of pool-centric video posts. He expects the worst ... but ends up being courted, fed and even signed by his Diddiness.
"What up, it's your boy Diddy. I'm the newest member of the Arctic Monkeys," Diddy shouts while a dumbfounded Helders stands in the background. "I'm not gonna be singing, I'm not gonna be playing any instruments, but I'm part of the crew; I'm part of the entourage. So if y'all f--- with the Arctic Monkeys, y'all gotta f--- with me."
From there, Helders is signed to Bad Boy — a handshake deal, no money exchanged — shown around Diddy's expansive kitchen ("This is not even a restaurant. This is my kitchen, mother----ers!" Diddy shouts) and given a lesson in both economics and charity.
"We feed the multitudes. This is what we do. We feed everybody," Diddy explains, while examining a huge platter of French toast. "This French toast right here, this is a lot of French toast. ... If I eat, everybody eat. ... This is enough French toast to feed 20 people. ... Everybody gotta eat. We are in a recession."
Diddy then drapes his arm over Helders' shoulder, points at the camera and advises any rival bands from ever messing with the Monkeys, lest they want to face the wrath of Bad Boy (perhaps for added impact, San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman is standing in the background).
"All you other rock bands in London, if you even look at my guys weird backstage, I'm gonna jump on that mother----ing British Airways flight and come backstage and stick my foot so far up your ass," he yells. "We havin' a bromance."
For his part, Helders seems to be amazed that all of this is happening to him, attempting to crack jokes and handling Diddy's Grammy Awards like an awestruck 9-year-old. And looking back on it all (Helders is narrating the clip from a couch in his home in Sheffield, England), he sums up the entire experience — and his new entourage member/ label boss — thusly: "He's a very friendly guy. Probably the best host I've been hosted by in a long time, if not ever," he said. "He asked us to take our shoes off, which is acceptable."