Don't be surprised if Pete Wentz calls you up this week to see if he can crash on your couch.
Stern, an avowed fan of Wentz's wife,
Among the things we learned:
» Wentz said he purposely did not go all the way with many of his Hollywood conquests before marrying Simpson because he didn't want to have to share a long list of exes with his wife ... and he didn't want to hear her list.
» Wentz revealed everything from how Simpson's body looks post-pregnancy to her bra size and the details of the couple's sex life post-birth.
» Despite Stern's urgings, Wentz said he had never fantasized about sister-in-law Jessica Simpson but said that early in his career, he told Rolling Stone that Ashlee was the one celebrity he would like to have a relationship with. A year after meeting, they began dating, but only after she felt confident his wild days were behind him.
» In addition to keeping the magazine cover of Ashlee at his parents' house, Pete said when the couple visit his folks at Christmas, he sometimes revisits the old days with Ash in the room. "We have an amazing sex life," he said. "Texas girls are fun."
» Speaking of the first time he and Ashlee had sex, Wentz said, "It was the single best sexual encounter I've ever had. We were in the Soho Grand Hotel, and there was a mirror, and I was like, 'Oh my God, you're banging the girl of your dreams and you're watching it right now.' "
» That TMI was soon followed by his admission that Ashlee made him promise to not "say anything crummy" about her during the "Stern" appearance.
» He talked about their prenuptial agreement, who makes more money (she does), Ashlee's dislike for strip clubs, but her "mean" skills at giving lap dances. He also mentioned the underwear his mother-in-law bought for him with Ashlee's name on it for when he goes out of town.
» We found out that Ashlee's wedding ring is probably the most expensive gift he's ever given her and that it's somewhere in the "ballpark" of $150,000.
» He copped to his "man crush" on John Mayer.
» Speaking of his father-in-law, Joe Simpson, Wentz said, "Joe is the only person who probably gets worse press than I do." He also revealed that once he and Ashlee got together, the first thing Joe said to him was, "Pete, we saw a little too much of you on the Internet last year."
» He also confirmed once and for all that he and Simpson didn't sell pictures of Bronx not because nobody wanted them, but because they weren't interested in selling them. "At this point, it was not the right decision for us to go out and pimp our baby in that way," he said. "That's not to say that the world's not going to see the baby ... or fans aren't going to see the baby, but he's not a commodity."
» Stern quizzed Wentz on his former flings, from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star Michelle Trachtenberg and Lindsay Lohan to his experimentation with kissing men as a Bowie-style form of freaking people out.
» "My wife will murder me if I go on the scale," Wentz said when asked by Stern to rate Trachtenberg's prowess. "I will say that Michelle was a blast. My wife is the ultimate, though." He later said Trachtenberg dumped him because he was living a "frat boy" lifestyle when he first moved out to Los Angeles. Though he hedged on whether he and Lohan were intimate, he said now that they're friends, he's happy for her because he said Lohan "seems like she's happier" than ever in her current relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson.
» And finally, Wentz boasted that he and his wife have "such a sexual chemistry ... had we been on this show last year, we probably would have been doing it in the green room."
Sorry, Pete, but my sister-in-law's crashing on the couch this week.